Home
by nje
Summary: Five years ago, Ranger left on a mission. Now he is back and what he finds when he comes home is far from expected. He has a family with Steph and everything he could possibly want. But of course, there is trouble in paradise. THEY ARE NOT MINE! High angs
1. Chapter 1

1:30 am. Five years, nine months, two weeks, six days, eleven hours, and twelve minutes. Five long years he had been on assignment, not sleeping, barely eating, killing, and following orders. The locks to his apartment tumbled and he entered, eyes barely open. His keys went to their place in the bowl on the table, his thick soled CAT's to their place at the entrance closet. He didn't know how long he had been standing there, staggering, trying to stay away through the thick haze that came over him once he finally eased into his home, but after what seemed to be hours, he heard a slight voice in the distance.

"Carlos? Oh my god, Carlos!"

The voice got louder and he watched as a figure, just a shadow through the fog, came to him and hugged him. The figure was unrecognizable in the dark, but in his state, the lights wouldn't have mattered anyway. He hugged the stranger back though he was not sure why, and fought furiously to keep his eyes open. The shadow stepped back and took his hand, leading him to his bedroom. It stripped him and dragged him into the bathroom then pushed him back into the shower. Sometime between stripping him and turning on the bathroom light, the figure had turned on the shower and let it run because the water was piping hot on his hardened skin. A thankful groan escaped his lips as the water washed over him. He hadn't had a hot shower in three years. He kept his eyes closed as the shadow moved around him, scrubbing him down with a familiar scented shower gel, his shower gel, and then washed and conditioned his hair. Before he knew it he was lead out of the shower and handed a pair of boxers that he barely managed to step into. The figure bent down and pulled up the boxers, then directed him towards his bed. His head hit the pillow and before he could think, his fatigue took over and held on like a boa constrictor.

7:15 am. Soft voices pulled him out of his sleep, slowly but surely catching his attention. He didn't open his eyes, just listened to the voices in his bedroom.

"Shhh, susurro, susurro. Salir de este sitio e ir a la cocina." (_Shhh, whisper, whisper. Come out of this room and go to the kitchen.) _It was Steph's voice.

"But _Mama…_" And a little boy, no older than five.

"I said whisper! Now go to the kitchen."

"Pero hay un hombre en tu cama! And he has cuts all over him! And he left his boots by the door. Is he gunna get in trouble 'cuz he didn't put them in his closet?" (_But there's a man in your bed_)

"I know, I know. Now please, mi niño, go to the kitchen and don't make any more noise."

"Fine. But he better get in trouble for leaving his boots there because I left my sneakers in the kitchen last week and you-"

"Bastantes! Go!" (_enough)_

Then the voices were silent. He tried to pry open his eyes, but sleep came over him once more and he was sucked back in. The next time he woke it was 7:00 am, the next day. Ranger's eyes shot open and he took in his surroundings. He was in his bed, in his room, in his boxers, though he wasn't sure how he got there. The bed was warm by his side and the pillow had a slight dip in it from a head. _Steph._ He grabbed the pillow and brought it to his face, taking in the scent of his Babe and a slow smile spread over his face. How he had missed her, craved her, waited until the day that he could see her again. Where was 

she? The sound of shower running told him where she was and so he got up to get dressed, all the while thinking about the conversation he had heard in his sleep. Steph was speaking Spanish to a little boy, her little boy. Her son. She had a son while he was away and had raised him in his home. The thought warmed his heart and brought a small smile to his lips but a nagging feeling in his stomach reminded him that the child wasn't necessarily his. Steph would never bring another man into his apartment but if she chose to raise the child here, he would understand.

He stepped out of their bedroom and into the living room in search of the little boy, clad in combats and a tee, all black, now loose on his tired body. The day he left, the sleeves of the tee-shirt barely fit over his muscled biceps and shoulders. Now, it was comfortable, too comfortable, and there was a slight slack in the fabric that emphasized his weight loss. Not only was he thinner but the shadows under his eyes and shallow hollows of his cheeks were a stark contrast to the man he once was.

Passing through the living room, he saw the flicker of the television and looked only for a moment to see a cartoon dancing around, singing a song about snot and little sisters. He continued into the kitchen. And there he sat. At hearing him enter, the boy looked up and stared at the strange man before him. Ranger's breath caught in his throat as he met the boy's gaze. He had the most piercing blue eyes he had ever seen. No, he had seen them before. His eyes were identical to his mother's. Bright and intense, lined with a thick row of long black lashes. Ranger looked over the boy, taking him in as the boy seemed to be doing the same. He was built thick, had a head of thick, straight black hair and an alarmingly deep expression on his face, all held together by bronzed skin, wrapped in a Batman sleeper. He seemed wary and looked Ranger over with a scrutinizing glare. _Smart boy. _The kid's voice broke the silence.

"You better get your boots out of the front hall or you're gunna sit on the time out chair. I had to go for like a hour when I left my shoes there." Ranger took in a breath to smother the smile that almost dared to break free. Ranger stood mesmerized by the small child who sat at his counter, demanding the focus of the room. "It's rude to stare. Mama says so." He took his spoon in his tiny hand and took a slow, careful bite of the cereal in front of him, never letting Ranger out of his sight. Ranger decided then that he had never seen a more beautiful face in his entire life. He had no idea who the baby belonged to, maybe Steph had found someone other than Morelli while he was gone? Judging by the lack of anything but black in the closet on Steph's side, he figured out that she still worked for Rangeman. That didn't mean that she couldn't have moved on from either of the men that claimed her love life before he left. Ranger took a seat across from the kid and looked around the kitchen, unsure of himself for the first time since he was fifteen, and afraid to make eye contact with him.

"What's your name?" He looked up then at the boy and waited, watching his reaction. He would understand if the boy ran at his raspy voice, but he waited and hoped. His own voice over the past five years had startled him on more than one occasion. It sounded tired and ragged.

"Carlos Mateo. But that's only when I don't listen. Other times it's just Carlos. What's your name?" Ranger's heart skipped a beat at the boy's words. The boy had been named after him, he was sure of that. _Get it together, Manoso. It doesn't mean he's yours. _He had been with Steph for two years before he left on his mission so it wasn't unreasonable that Steph would name her child after him.

"Ranger." They had, still had hopefully, an amazingly strong relationship and Ranger was a permanent part of Stephanie's life. Ranger looked over the counter as Carlos took another bite of his cereal, still watching Ranger carefully. Steph had left out a cup of granola and a glass of water for Ranger and he felt a warmth rush through him. Of course she had thought of him. He dragged the bowl of granola in front of him and brought a bite to his mouth before Carlos's small voice interrupted him.

"You didn't say a prayer. You can't eat yet." _Shit. _Ranger put his spoon down and raised a brow at Carlos. He hadn't prayed since..well he couldn't remember. Ranger racked his brain for a prayer and couldn't come up with a single one. He and god weren't exactly on speaking terms, what with Ranger being a mercenary and all.

"Why don't you say the one you normally say. I'll listen." Carlos shrugged and then nodded, clapping his hands together in front of him in typical form for a prayer. He squeezed his little eyes shut and sighed before calmly speaking his prayer.

"Dear God, thank you for our food and thank you for our health." Carlos looked up then at Ranger. "That's the part that Mama makes me say. Then I add other stuff." He bowed his head again and squeezed his eyes shut. "Please bring Daddy home soon so Mama can stop crying. Amen." His little fingers pointed the sign of the cross over his body and he busied himself with his cereal again. Ranger's grip tightened on his spoon and his heart raced. _Please bring Daddy home soon so Mama can stop crying._ So where is Daddy? His mind raced as he took in the words. He couldn't stand the uncertainty any longer.

"Carlos, what's your Daddy's name?" He held his breath and waited as Carlos put another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. He finished chewing, too slow for Ranger's patience, and took a sip of his milk, not understanding the urgency behind the question. Ranger hoped…

"Ricardo Carlos Manoso. He's the coolest guy ever. My Mama showed me all this stuff that he has and he's so awesome. He has handcuffs and he shoots people and he has all these medals from being a Special Ops guy and he's on a mission." Carlos took another sip of his milk. "I don't know where. But he's so cool. He makes my Mama cry all the time, though. And Abuela too. And then they hug me and tell me I look like him and I'm smart like him. But I don't know how I look like him. He's really big Mama says. And he's from Cuba. Mama learned Spanish and talks it to me so I can talk to Abuela. " Carlos' small hand went down to his bowl as he finished off the last of his Cheerios. Ranger just stared, open mouthed at the little boy. _He's mine. Babe had my son. I have a son with Steph._ The sound of careful footfalls caught their attention and both turned in the direction they came from.

"He's awake, Mama! Te dije para mover sus cargadores así que te no tienen que hacer que él se sienta en el tiempo hacia fuera presiden." (_I told him to move his boots so you don't have to make him sit on the time out chair_.) Stephanie stood in the kitchen entrance, watching her two men eat together, smiling soundly. She had been watching for a few minutes in the living room before deciding to make her presence known. She moved to stand behind her son, kissing him softly on the top of his head before clearing away his bowl and dismissing him to the living room. Ranger stood as she entered and watched her carefully as she interacted with their son. After he left, Ranger couldn't help himself any longer.

"Babe." He moved behind the counter and took her into his arms, embracing her in a searing kiss. His skin tingled as he felt her arms reach around his neck and yank him down to her. They held each other, kissing, holding, touching, feeling each other. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply, taking in her scent just like he had on her pillow. She smelled of his shower gel and shampoo, and just pure Steph. She cried in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. "God, Babe. I missed you so much. I thought of you everyday . Every second, you were on my mind. You have no idea what it feels like to have you in my arms again." He tilted her chin up so he could look into her glimmering blue eyes. They held each other's smoldering gaze for a moment before Ranger bent his head to kiss her, first on her forehead, then on each other eyelids, then her nose, and finally her perfect mouth. Stephanie couldn't 

speak. She was shaking with sobs, holding herself so tightly to him that her arms began to ache. But she couldn't let go. She had been without him for too long to let go now and the ache in her arms was nothing compared to what she had felt for five years without him. A few more minutes passed before Ranger pulled away from the kiss to look back into her eyes.

"Steph, he's beautiful." She knew immediately that he was referring to their son. Stephanie's own version of the 2000 watt smile spread across her face and she gazed up into Ranger's eyes, her arms still locked behind his head, and hot tears streaming down her cheeks. He smiled back down at her and ran his hand over her belly. Why couldn't he have been there for their son's birth? It hurt him to think that he had missed five years of their son's life as well as Steph's pregnancy. He moved his hand to her face, wiping away her tears with a callused thumb.

"I can't believe you're really here. I imagined it so many times but this time it's real." She brought her lips to his again and closed the small gap between them. His hands wandered her body and felt her curves, recommitting her changed body to his memory. Every dip and curve of her body felt more gorgeous than ever, knowing that she had given birth to their son. Carlos stepped into the kitchen then and watched as his mother held the stranger that had dared to leave his boots by the front door.

"Mama, quién es él?"(_who is he?_) Small, yes, brave, yes, but stupid, no. He had watched the interaction between them and he knew that this man was not just a friend of his mother. Uncle Tank and Uncle Bobby never looked at her like that and not even Uncle Lester, who liked to hug Mama a lot, looked at her like that. Stephanie smiled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, stepping back from Ranger to kneel down and beckon their son. He ran to his mother and stood beside her. His careful eyes examining the man who seemed to have a strange relationship with Mama. Stephanie picked him up, popping her hip for him to sit on, and kissed his cheek before speaking through happy tears.

"Carlos Mateo Manoso, this is Ricardo Carlos Manoso. This is Daddy." Carlos' eyes widened and Ranger's heart skipped a beat. _Daddy._ He hadn't heard that even from Julie. Before Stephanie could react, Carlos threw himself at Ranger and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Ranger's arms enveloped him in a strong embrace. Stephanie cried and so did Carlos. Ranger did the equivalent, squeezing his eyes shut, inhaling deeply through his nose while crushing his boy to his chest. He had never felt more at home, more whole, more content.


	2. Chapter 2

**So some nice fluffy calm before the storm…Thanks again for all of your encouraging words and ideas.**

"Daddy?"

"Si, Mateo."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Daddy?"

"Si, Mateo."

"How close are we?"

"One hundred and thirty miles away."

"Daddy?"

"Si, Mateo."

"How many minutes is that? Is that a lot?"

"Si, Mateo. A lot. Play your Gameboy."

"Daddy?"

"Si, Mateo."

"Are we there yet?"

"Dios me ayuda. No, we're not there yet." _(God help me.)_

Ranger slammed his foot down on the gas pedal of their black 2008 Mercedes GL and sped through the night, determined to make it to their vacation spot, a brand new lake house, in good time. They had left their apartment at Rangeman at 5:00 in the evening and it was pressing on 7:00. Stephanie sat beside him, a small smile caressing her perfect mouth as she watched Ranger's jaw clenched in an effort to stop the smile that almost broke free. She held his right hand in her left and stroked his palm with her thumb, calming him while their son continually penetrated his _zone. _Stephanie had been used to the persistence of the chatterbox but even after two months of being home, Ranger still had to dig deep within himself to find the patience for a five-year-old. He loved his boy more than life itself and spent every waking moment with him, but the boy could talk. A lot. The sweet sound of his voice was like music to Ranger's ears, powerful enough to calm him in his darkest hours, but he seemed to be a test from God himself as Ranger answered question after question on the drive. Upon Ranger's return, Carlos Mateo was now called Mateo as Ranger was called Carlos by Stephanie. At hearing his real name on her lips, his chest tingled. Five years he had been a number, and to hear her say his name, moan his name, it sent him into a daze. Ranger was finally relieved to hear the chirping of Mario and Luigi as his son settled on the Gameboy, hopefully silencing him for the remainder of the trip. Stephanie stole a glance at Ranger, still stroking his palm, working slow circles across the callused skin. Her gentle touch sent shock waves 

through his body and he shuddered slightly, thinking about the way her fingertips had caressed his body the night before, and every night before that. He couldn't get enough of her. Every time she licked her lips, touched her face, ran her fingers through her hair, Ranger thought he would explode. Nothing brings about lust like five years of celibacy.

He let out a content sigh and looked next to him at his Babe. Her smile widened, lighting up her entire face until it reached her sapphire eyes. As he looked into her smiling eyes, Ranger couldn't help the fire that was burning in the pit of his stomach. He never thought he could love anyone as much as he loved Steph. She was wearing a pair of shorts and one of his sweatshirts, the hem falling to the tops of her knees. Her lean legs were folded beneath her and her hair was naturally perfect as well as her makeup-free face. Never before had she looked more beautiful. She glowed, radiating with happiness and maternal gratification. Ranger freed his hand from her grasp and brought it to her face, running his thumb over her smile softly before leaning in and claiming it with his own lips. The kiss was soft, brief, but perfectly substantial. It communicated a love that couldn't be described with words, only with gentle caresses and actions. He released her delicate jaw and returned his hand to hers, looking down at their intertwined fingers. Her skin was milky, pale and flawless. His was scarred, tainted, and had the tint of a mocha latte. But they matched. They matched like two stray pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, lost in the pile but forever bound. Their beautiful boy was the glue. He thought of how undeserving and lucky he was. How could she love him so much while knowing what he had done, what he was capable of?

Ranger returned his eyes to the road and continued driving, content with the silence and the feeling of his Babe's hand in his. He got lost in his thoughts, recalling the past events that set them apart and how he would never have to experience them again. He focused his gaze on the double yellow line, his jaw tensing as his blank face set on. He tried to fight in, but the flashbacks were persistent and broke through his concentration.

"_Colonel Brighton. Soldier 24739087."_

"_Soldier, have you received your mission?"_

"_Sir, yes, sir."_

"_Have you been armed and outfitted?"_

"_Sir, yes, sir."_

"_Then Godspeed, boy."_

_The men loaded up. Guns, ammunition, supplies, packs. All were thrown onto the jeep. Solider after soldier climbed in, taking their seat as they awaited their inevitable death. Men were praying, some were singing, most were silent, waiting. They had received their mission and accepted it without hesitation. Marines, Army, Navy SEALS, Air Force pilots. Fathers, brothers, sons, cousins, friends. Now just a number. The cavalry sped on through the thick jungle until reaching ground zero. Without waiting for it to stop, soldiers spilled out, ready for their mission. The mission: Kill them. Them: Anything that moved not wearing a United States Special Ops uniform. The men didn't know why. They didn't ask questions, just obeyed. _

_Staying low, the men moved in on the beat up town, their trigger fingers getting enough exercise for a year. They were outnumbered by at least 500, the enemy seemingly coming up from the ground. Body after body, soldier 24739087 went on. Chaos, screams, blood, bodies, dismembered limbs, shouts, gun _

_shots, grenades, machetes ,fallen insolent guerillas, fallen soldiers. The dust and debris was so thick that he couldn't see his own gun in front of him as he ran, staying low. He shot blindly into the cloud at every hint of movement. Not knowing who or what he was shooting, he did was he was told and made his way to the main headquarters of the enemy. The door was kicked down by another soldier and a shower of bullets was released into the air. The battle ensued for days, weeks, months, years. Supplies fell from the sky and the men refueled when necessary. The cloud of destruction that had encircled the war zone grew thicker as the years went on, the seemingly endless battle claiming the landscape. New men were brought in but no bodies were removed. After resources ran out, bodies were used as shelter, stacked high to form barriers and forts once the brittle rubble left behind from buildings was no longer useable. Blood coated the ground and seemed to keep dust down but the fog only got heavier and more dense with each footfall. The men were on autopilot, shooting at anything that moved and running through the madness as their comrades fell at their sides. Out of sheer compassion, many of the men had shot their own friends as they came across their mangled bodies, putting them out of their misery. Then it stopped. Five years, nine months, two weeks, five days, four hours, and eighteen minutes and the battle was over. Like someone had flipped a switch, the dust settled. Bodies fell to their final resting places and the men looked around, taking stock of the survivors. Three. 267 United States Special Forces soldiers embarked on the mission and three remained, standing on a body littered death bed. They had slept an hour or two every other night, eaten a meal or two every three days, and bathed once a week. They were covered in blood and dirt, debris wedged in their skin, bullet wounds unattended and infected. Three. Soldier's 24739087, 90877814, and 12009654 walked away from the war zone, no longer a number in the masses. They walked away alive, but nothing could replace what died inside of them those five long years. _

"Daddy?"

Ranger's head nearly hit the roof as he was jolted awake by a sweet voice behind him. He shook his head slightly and refocused his eyes, alert now to his surroundings. Ranger sighed silently and readjusted himself in the seat of the car as he came back down to earth. He hadn't dazed off like that since he was a kid and he was angry with himself for allowing the memory to take over like that while he was driving with Steph and Mateo in the car. He could have handled it if he was alone but while the lives of his loved ones were in his hands, it was unacceptable. His mind raced as he got back under control, conscious now of his location. He felt Steph's thumb increase pressure reassuringly as she stroked his palm in her lap, working her way up his forearm with gentle strokes. He looked over at her, a pained and obviously frustrated expression wiping his tired features. Her expression was equally as dismal, her heart aching for him. She had watched him the entire time and watched as his jaw clenched and twitched with each thought. He had been doing it on and off for the past two months and nothing she could do would help it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get passed the fact that his body was still drained from his mission. The fact that he was one of three men, originally 267 men, to survive, made matters worse. Steph leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, lingering there for a moment before flickering her gleaming eyes to their son, still waiting for his father's attention. Ranger's muscles eased as he looked at the boy in the rearview mirror, his heart skipped a beat as Mateo's gaze met his. His eyes were even more intriguing than his mother's, having Ranger's thick black eyelashes to contrast the crystalline hue. He looked just as Ranger had as a young boy, distinctly sweet yet strong and masculine. He had the same thick head of silky black hair and intense expressions that were alarmingly mature for a five-year-old.

"Mateo, cuál está en tu mente, mi alegría? Decirme."_( What is on your mind, my joy? Tell me.)_

"Are we there yet?"

At his son's inquest, Ranger couldn't help but laugh nor could Steph. His chest vibrated with his hearty chuckle, the sound reverberating throughout the GL, Steph's quiet chuckle sounding off in the background. He shook his head and smiled at his son through the rearview mirror. A perplexed Mateo scowled at his father, not appreciating the laugh he got as a response to his serious question. Ranger looked at the clock on the dash, seeing the time at 8:30. He had been reliving his mission for an hour and a half and Mateo had lasted that long without speaking. That deserved something special.

"Mi niño, did Mama tell you about the time she blew up Daddy's Porsche?"

That got him a punch in the arm and a Burg eye roll from Steph, though she couldn't stop the smile that stretched across her delicate face. That also got him an open mouthed gape from his son. Mateo's eyes widened and he smiled as well, egging his father on to tell him the many stories of his mother's luck with cars, making the remainder of their drive fly by.

They arrived at the lake house at 9:30. Ranger took in all of their bags while Steph carried in Mateo, dead asleep on her shoulder. Steph had dressed him for bed before they left, in anticipation of their arrival time, in his favorite Batman sleeper, complete with attached feeties. He insisted on wearing it everywhere, arguing with Steph almost every day while his father was on his mission, though now he settled for only bed time. If he wasn't wearing his Batman sleeper, he was wearing a Rangeman uniform. He had his own set of embroidered shirts, the Rangeman logo on the front, _The Boss_ embroidered on the back. When it came time to go to Kindergarten, Steph didn't want to know the looks she would receive from other parents and his teachers. He even had his own combats and cargos, all black of course. At seeing his father in pictures during his first five years he had decided that he would only wear black. It didn't help that Uncle Tank and the rest of the Merry Men looked like the MIB. Stephanie entered their rented house and carried Mateo into his room. She laid him down on the bed, tucked him in, and kissed him softly before turning out the light and closing the door behind her. She was met in the doorway by Ranger, smiling through his tired eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out that no amount of sleep could cure his fatigue.

Steph took a step forward, closing the gap between them. Her arms went to their place around his neck and she hugged him to her, pulling herself against his body full flush. Her eyes closed and she rested her head on Ranger's shoulder, reveling in the feel of him. His scent consumed her and she couldn't help but smile. She had dreamed of him like this, next to her, with their son, for so long. Now he was there in the flesh and she couldn't get enough of him. Ranger's long arms wrapped around her small body and he held her firmly, burying his face in her hair at the base of her neck. She smelled like his shower gel but it was different on her, sexier. Her silky skin still smelled of a woman though it had a deep earthiness to it from the Bulgari. They stayed like that for a few moments before Ranger released her. With a swift shift of position, Ranger now had his arm in the crook of her knees and held her up off the ground. She couldn't help but squeal as he picked her up and her hold around his neck tightened. The sound sent a shiver through his spine and he smirked lazily at Steph, now eye level with her. He turned on the heel of his CAT and began to walk towards the back of the house. He walked through the massive dining room, living room, and kitchen until he was at the back door, Stephanie wiggling in his arms all the while.

"Carlos, where are we going?"

She narrowed her eyes and grinned at him, knowing he was capable of anything. He never ceased to amaze her and the fact that he held her on such a high pedestal, though she thought it was ridiculous, meant that he probably had outdone himself with some elaborate plan.

"Babe."

That was all she got. Shocker. She mustered up her best Burg eye roll, though not upset, and stared into his dangerous molten gaze, looking for some sort of hint. Nothing. Blank face was on and it was impenetrable. Ranger stepped through the back door and onto the deck that overlooked the lake. He placed Stephanie down on her feet and turned her so that she was facing away from him, out at the lake. The moon hung low over the horizon and the view was breathtaking, the dense woods and mountain range providing a picturesque backdrop. A flittering light caught Steph's eye and she turned her attention to where it came from. At the back corner of the deck was a hot tub, adorned with lit candles and rose pedals. Her eyes soon filled with unshed tears and she turned around to look up at Ranger. Her heart thundered in her chest and the lump in her throat was almost enough to suffocate her. She choked out an _I love you_ and threw her arms around Ranger's neck. His lips came crashing down on hers and he slowly undressed them. He worshiped every square inch of her body with his callused fingertips and took note of every dip and curve. She had changed since giving birth to their son but she was still so perfect. He picked her up again in his strong arms and lowered her into the steaming water. Ranger climbed in after and brought her into his embrace again. The water around them swirled and bubbled, massaging his aching muscles as he held her. It felt good to let the security systems he had installed do the work and let him and his Babe relax. The Merry Men were watching over them and Ranger could finally close his eyes.

"I can't believe you did all this. When? I mean, I know you have superpowers but I don't know how you got this past me. Unless…while I was putting Mateo down? No. That only took a minute. I guess I'll never know the secrets of Batman."

"Babe."

She giggled lightly and placed a soft kiss on his lips. His usual one word answer was vague but just the sound of his voice was enough to satisfy her. Ranger's chest vibrated with a chuckle against hers as they held each other, Stephanie in his lap while he sat on the bench seat. They sat in the hot water and held each other, speaking only soft sentiments and _I love you's_ in between kisses. A small groan escaped Ranger's lips as his Babe's creamy skin glided along his tanned pelt in the hot water, feeling like silk beneath his fingertips. Steph's hands ran over his contoured arms and chest, down over his shoulders and onto his chiseled back in a slow circle and that alone evoked another breathy moan. Normally this would have turned Stephanie on, but she was far from aroused at the moment. Ranger's eyes flickered open to see Steph on the verge of tears. Her fingertips were gliding over every scar, every burn mark, bullet wound, any imperfection. The perfect man she loved so much was broken. She traced the hollow dips under his eyes, the sunken contours of his cheeks, down to his narrowed shoulders. He had left her 260 lbs. of lean muscle and was brought back 220, maybe 230 lbs of dead weight. He still had muscle but the definition was so faint in comparison to his previous body that it was startling. One of her tears escaped her and slid down her smooth cheek. Ranger sighed softly and brushed it away with his thumb.

"Shh, Babe. Parar tus rasgones, mi amor. I'm ok." _(Stop your tears, my love.) _

Lie. Lifting her up into the hot tub was actually a strain for him but she would never know. He brought her face to his and embraced her in a deep, slow kiss. She relaxed beneath his touch and melted into him, her body still fitting perfectly with his thought they had reunited as changed people. Ranger pulled away just before he became breathless and locked eyes with Steph.

"Babe. I love you and Mateo more than anything. You have given me my son and yourself when I don't deserve either of you. Eres mi alma y no hay manera que podría vivir posiblemente sin ti_._"(_ You are my soul and there is no way I could possibly live without you)_

Stephanie sat up and stared into his gaze with sheer panic, searching his eyes for an hint of emotion. She sure as hell found it. Ranger stared back at her with all of his heart. What was normally blank and evasive was now full of hope, love, trust, and longing. Her heart rate quickened and her breathing became shallow. Never before had she seen so much feeling in Ranger and it almost scared her. He was obviously trying to break something to her, let her down slowly. He had another mission, she was sure. These past two months were a break, a reprieve before he had to leave. Tears began to well in Stephanie's eyes and she desperately searched Ranger's face for answers. He looked past her at the horizon before returning to her mesmerizing blues, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. In a hoarse whisper, the only voice he could manage…

"No puedo vivir sin ti que es mina. Minar verdad, enteramente y totalmente. Por siempre. Casarme, Stephanie." _(I can't live without you being mine. Truly mine, wholly and completely. Forever. Marry me, Stephanie)_

The tears that plagued Stephanie's eyes were now streaming down her cheeks. She was speechless. She had been fearing a departure speech but was given a proposal that she had waited for since she had known him. On the very day they met, Stephanie would have taken his last name. Ranger's heart practically beat out of his chest, his entire soul still pouring through his molten gaze. Excruciatingly long minutes passed before Ranger couldn't stand it anymore.

"Babe, you're killing me here."

His voice was shaky but light. He had never been more nervous in his entire life. He knew the woman cried at the drop of a hat, but this was getting to be too much. Was she happy? Sad? _Good god, Steph. Spit it out. I can't take this anymore. _The massive hand that was splayed on her back began to massage her gently, encouraging her to voice her decision. Not even walking onto that battle ground made him feel the way he did at that moment. Ranger's worries were put to rest as Stephanie's cries dissolve into a 2000 watt smile. Her lips crashed down on his and she clung to him like it was going to save her life. Breathless, Steph pulled away and stared straight into his eyes with her arms still around his neck. Her voice broke through the lump in her throat as she continued to cry happy tears.

"No amaría nada más que ser tu esposa." _(I would love nothing more than to be your wife.)_

**Author's Note: The scene I described was relayed to me by a Navy SEAL and I hope I did it justice. The dialogue in the beginning was taken directly from Real Life, though I changed the names and ID numbers as well as the length of the mission. The real mission was seven years. **


	3. Chapter 3

**What do you get when Nina fakes sick because her date creeps her out? Another chapter! Everyone say thank you to sketchy Rob who wanted to take me to Medieval Times! If only I had my own Batman…**

The morning light poured into their bedroom through the blinds, forcing the sleep out of Ranger's eyes. He woke and took stock of his surroundings, out of pure habit. _It's morning. I'm naked. I'm in bed. Steph is lying on top of me. She's awake, her breath is irregular. She's naked. Very naked. Very naked on top of me. _Steph watched as Ranger's muscles tensed and released with each thought, giggling softly at her fiancé. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly in return. The sound of her laugh was his light at the end of his long, miserable tunnel. _I don't deserve her, _he thought as he ran a hand down her silky smooth back.Ranger's own internal wars were more destructive than any mission he had ever been on. He spent countless hours debating on whether or not he deserved the life he was given, if he deserved his happiness, if he deserved his son or his fiancé. He had yet to figure out what reasons the higher powers had for blessing him with his son. Mateo wasn't so much of a surprise because he was unplanned, he was a surprise because in Ranger's eyes, under no circumstances did his actions warrant a gift so divine.

Steph moved farther up Ranger's body, now straddling him beneath the sheets. The fine lines around his eyes were relaxed and barely visible now and he looked somewhat peaceful. As happy as he was at the moment, she couldn't pull her attention away from the obvious signs of his stress, both mental and physical. She could feel the internal bruises and welts on his joints as she ran her fingertips over every inch of his mocha skin, teasing him at his pressure points and spots she knew would set him off. She finally focuses on his heavenly lips and kisses him sweetly, commanding him to open his eyes.

"Morning, Carlos."

"Babe."

Ranger does as he is told-lover's ESP-and stares up into Steph's piercing blue eyes, mumbling his response. Before he had left, Steph would have been the one mumbling for more sleep, begging Ranger to leave her alone and go for a run without her. Now, Ranger was eternally tired and found the same uselessness of an hour nap in a twelve-hour night's sleep. His hands went to Steph's hips and rested comfortably there, caressing her against his body. For a minute, he felt like maybe he was doing alright and that someone up there must have forgiven him. The fleeting moment passed and once again his fake contentment washed over. He had his soul mate, a beautiful boy, and was assured that never again would he leave on a mission. Yet there was a constant sorrow that held him captive. As their gaze held, Steph pinpointed every turning emotion that ran through his heavy heart. He wasn't fooling anyone, certainly not the woman that had agreed to marry him only hours before. For Ranger's sake, she ignored it and smiled back at him, still holding his handsome face between her hands. Her lips connected with his once more before she rose up off of the bed to get dressed and wake up their son. The clock beside the bed read 5:45 am. They planned on going to the lake and catching a boat ride to a beach not far down the shore line, at 6:30 am. That left Steph plenty of time to throw on a bathing suit and shorts, then dress Mateo and give him breakfast. Ranger never moved a muscle as he watched her dress, secretly ecstatic when the bikini in her left hand had won out over the one-piece in her right hand. Their comfortable silence ended as Steph left the bedroom with an _I love you_, and descended down the stairs to prepare a hot breakfast for his sleeping son. Every morning she had the same routine with him. First, she would cook his breakfast and set it on the table, taking _exactly _15 minutes. Then she would wake him up and dress him so that he sat down to a hot meal immediately. Otherwise there was no getting that boy out of bed, much like his mother before his birth.

Ranger rose out of bed and headed to the shower. The hot water beating down on his tired body still felt just as good as cleansing himself the first night he got back. His body soaked in the heat, absorbing it and dispersing it throughout his joints. He smiled softly at the bottle of Bulgari shower gel resting on the shelf in the shower before lathering himself up. He had forgotten it but Steph had remembered. One of the most noticeable setbacks Ranger faced was his forgetfulness. He never forgot major events or memories, just simple things that would only annoy him, like leaving lights on or forgetting to close a cabinet. Not once did Steph point it out but he noticed that she followed him around sometimes, finishing tasks he had started, like zippering their suitcase and locking the door behind them as they left. Frustrated with himself, Ranger cut his shower short. The more alone time he had, the worse it was. If he had enough time to himself he would get lost in his internal battles and be out of commission for a few hours. A clean Ranger stepped out of the shower and moved into the bedroom, fishing out his clothing for the day. Black bathing shorts and a black tee shirt, two hand guns and a knife, his normal leather tie replaced with a black rubber band that wouldn't be lost during a swim. He dressed and glanced over at the clock. 6:15. Steph would be on her way to the stairs to get Mateo. And like clockwork, he heard his fiancé walk up the stairs to the hall to their son's room. He smirked softly at the thought of the once unbridled Stephanie Plum falling into such a routine with their little Mateo.

He focused his attention on his black Nike running sneakers, tying them with a certain urgency so that he wouldn't forget anything. _Double knot. Finished. Now the next one. Under, around, double knot. _The mantra made him feel like a child but no way would he let himself forget to finish the last double knot on his sneaker. Just as he finished the second shoe, a blood curdling, bone chilling, gut wrenching scream broke his concentration. It was Stephanie's. The sound was enough to stop his heart momentarily, sending a shudder so violently up his spine that he wasn't sure he could walk. After only a millisecond, Ranger was on his feet and flying down the hall at an impossible speed. It took him ten steps to sprint down the 50 feet of hallway with his long stride.

As he burst through the doorway of Mateo's bedroom, he saw what had caused Steph's scream. His son's Batman sheets were soaked straight through to the mattress in blood. His pillow, the wall beside the bed, his comforter, even the bear that was tucked under his arm while he slept. Blood was pooled in every crevice and dripped off of the walls and onto the floor. Where his beautiful son should have been sleeping was a note. It didn't register in Ranger's brain to read the note right away because beside his feet was his fiancé, balled into herself and wracked with sobs. Her knees were hugged to her chest and she was shaking her head violently, rocking herself as she screamed Mateo's name, the startling sound would be forever imbedded in his memory. Ranger's shaky hand went to his cell phone and he dialed Tank on autopilot. He wasn't even sure if he spoke at all but the next thing he knew, Tank was confirming that the police as well as the entire Rangeman staff, from all offices, were on their way. The second the call disconnected, Ranger couldn't breathe. _Mateo. _Right beside Stephanie, he fell to his knees, rattling the floor, and grasped at his chest roughly, inhaling in openmouthed gasps. They somehow found each other through their hysterics and Ranger crushed Stephanie into his chest and rocked her, more for his sake than for hers at the moment. Steph's fists were balled into Ranger's shirt as she shook, her shoulders practically vibrating with sobs in Ranger's arms. His son was gone, his tiny bed was soaked through with blood. Ranger's eyes never left the saturated bear on the floor.

Everything around him was slowly starting to fade out of focus, the bear being the only concrete object he saw as he gasped for his breath. Had Ranger been hooked up to a heart monitor, the needle would have been through the roof. His heart rate was that of a hummingbird, beating so furiously that he couldn't make out each individual pump, though he could feel Steph's thundering pulse beneath his arms as she cried. Ranger had been shot, stabbed, electrocuted, tortured, drowned, trampled, beaten, and clawed at. Yet never in his life had he felt the pain he did while he knelt on the floor in that moment 

and rocked Stephanie back and forth in their son's empty bedroom. Ranger's vision was stunned back into focus at a sharp prick on his left arm. Just as quickly as his vision had cleared, it faded again and he was overcome with sleep.

Two hours later, Ranger woke. Ranger opened his eyes but was instantly blinded by the throbbing pain in his head. He sat up slowly and looked around the room as he adjusted his vision, and saw that he was in his bedroom, alone and still dressed in his swim shorts. Confused and in pain, Ranger rose up out of bed and went to the door. The sounds of booming voices, phones ringing, computers clicking, and dogs barking filled the entire house and caused him even more confusion. _Who the fuck is in my house? _His question was answered once he opened the door to his bedroom. Police investigators, dogs, Rangemen, CSI's, and his Merry Men all filled the long hall that led to his son's bedroom. _Mateo._ Ranger's eyes scanned the scene frantically as his chest regained that dull ache, his lungs filling with lead. Ranger looked out into the sea of people and took note of the group. There were investigators in their suits and ties, officers in their blue, and a more predominant sea of black clothed Rangemen employees. Ranger had employed 105 men at Rangeman and every single one was there in the house, doing their part. At the sound of his door opening, all eyes were on Ranger. They stared at him, waiting for the spark of another panic attack. Ranger saw a medical examiner reach into his pocket and pull out a syringe, no doubt another tranquilizer. Tank stepped forward, his face tense and blank, as were all the Merry Men. The police investigators and CSI's, however, did not possess the ability to turn off all emotion in a time of crisis. Worry filled their eyes and for a moment, Ranger thought he might throw up. Before his stomach could give out on him, another door in the hallway opened up and Stephanie appeared. Ranger watched as realization hit her just as it had hit him and she sank to her knees, shaking with sobs again just like before. He pushed his way through the crowd, knocking over multiple officers in his way. He got to her and picked her up in his arms and cradled her into his chest as she cried. No one spoke as the couple came back into reality after their slumber. Ranger's anger raged inside his heart. How could he have been so weak that he had passed out? All of Ranger's thoughts from before ran through Steph's mind as well and she reached up to her shoulder to feel the injection site.

"Sorry, Bombshell. We had to. You weren't breathing."

Lester's voice broke the silence as Steph felt her arm, now registering that they had been drugged. Completely drained of anymore tears, Stephanie stood by herself and stared up at her fiancé open mouthed, horrified, silently begging him to tell her it was all a sick joke and that their son was sitting on the couch watching Finding Nemo, ready to start their vacation. Ranger had no words for her. His eyes had the same expression as hers, though his chocolate gaze was dry. Worry and sadness flowed from his eyes, accenting the tense, tightlipped uncertainty that plagued his jaw line. He shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, not trusting himself to speak. As they held each other, the teams had gotten back to work. The crowd was once again filled with the sounds of their missing son.

As expected, multiple officers and investigators approached them for questioning, asking such questions as when they last saw Mateo, what he was wearing, who had access to the house, etc. Stephanie was rendered speechless and depended on Ranger to speak for them. For the first time in ten years, Ranger was not the one in charge. Ranger was the client, so to speak, and stood there helplessly as the men around them worked tirelessly to obtain evidence and organize search parties. The next investigator to approach them was not only carrying the usual notepad and pen, but an Evidence baggie containing a piece of paper.

"Mr. Manoso, Ms. Plum. I'm Detective Mike Lewis. This note was found on Mateo's bed and we think it's important that you read it."

Ranger had completely forgotten about the note. Reaching out for it with one arm still around Steph, he took it from Detective Lewis and held it out so that she could read it along with him. As much as he longed for his son back in his arms, Ranger feared what the note could possibly say. He had read Steph's notes from the psychos and the crazies but nothing compared to the anxiety he felt as he finally allowed his eyes to rest on the paper in his hand.

_**34801923.You left him there, Manoso. He was going to live but you left him there. Tell them what the number means and watch your son die. **_

Ranger felt Stephanie sag in his arms with a soft gasp and Lester stepped forward to take her as Ranger stared down at the note, bringing her back into the bedroom. All sounds around him closed off as he went into his zone, only hearing his heartbeat and breath as he concentrated on the scribble. _34801923. 34801923. 34801923.Tell them what the number means and watch your son die. 34801923. Number, number, tell them what the number means and watch your son die, number, 34801923, number, number…No. Not just a number . _There was so much blood in the room, all over the walls, the bed, the floor. Mateo had been injured, he didn't know how badly, but he was hurt. No, he couldn't be hurt too badly because the note even promised he was alive. Ranger cleared his throat, righting himself as he looked up at Detective Lewis and the rest of the team.

"Where are the tapes, for Mateo's room? Where are they?"

Detective Lewis shook his head apologetically and shrugged, taking the note back from Ranger. He was a father himself and the worry he felt was sincere and honest.

"They're blank. The camera in Mateo's room was never turned on."

At hearing this, Tank's nostrils flared and he picked up his phone and dialed, shaking his head. Had the cameras been running in the boy's room, they could possibly know who took him. Hell, if the cameras were on, it would have been caught before Mateo was even out of the house. The Merry Men in the control room back in Trenton would have been watching him sleep. They would know how many breaths he took while he slept, if he had a bad dream, if he was in distress. Mateo's wellbeing would be only a phone call away. Ranger's breath caught in his throat at the news.

"Tank, hang up the phone."

"I'm finding out who was supposed to turn them on."

"Stop."

"Ran-"

"I was supposed to turn them on."

"What?"

"I forgot, Tank. I was supposed to turn the cameras on."

Tank's blank face returned once again and he put the phone back into his pocket. He knew that Ranger had changed since he left for his mission but he didn't think it would be all possible for him to be so negligent. Tank didn't understand that it wasn't negligence, it was his memory. Nevertheless, Tank was livid. He loved the little boy just as much as he would his own son and had a major role in raising Mateo 

while Ranger was on assignment. All of the Rangemen did and took this event personally. The wave of guilt that came over Ranger added about 200 pounds of dead weight to his shoulders. He was responsible for his own child's abduction. Had he remembered to turn on the cameras, Mateo would be safely in his arms. Now, he was God knows where with God knows who. How could he possibly tell Stephanie why they had no video footage of their son's bedroom? Ranger cleared his mind for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Did you read the note, Tank?"

"Yes."

"Did you _read _the note, Tank?"

At his last question, Tank nodded. Ranger reverted back to the last place he felt secure, and went into leadership mode.

"Run it."

**I put up some URL's on my bio for their pictures. Take a look and let me know what you think. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Language**

_February 11, 2003_

"_Tank, I can't do this. I can't. He's not here and I'm alone and I can't do this."_

"_No, Steph, you're not alone. We're all here for you. You'll be fine, the baby will be fine, and you'll do it."_

_Stephanie stared down at her bulging belly beneath the hospital gown she had been wearing for the past two days. She had a rough pregnancy and had gone into premature labor at only 8 months. Due to stress and dehydration, Stephanie woke that night to intense cramping pains. The men had set her up with an emergency button next to the bed and without hesitation, she slammed her hand down on it. She knew something was not right. Upon reaching the hospital, doctors told her that she was feeling contractions and that the safest thing for the two of them would be to deliver early, even though Mateo would be premature. That night was the start of many. After Mateo's birth, Stephanie and Mateo would not leave the hospital until March 9, 2003 when he was deemed strong enough to stand up to the world. _

Tank nodded so that only Ranger could detect it and did as he was told. Detective Lewis looked questioningly over at Ranger, attempting to decipher the message exchanged between the two men. Run what? Frustrated with the secret correspondence, Detective Lewis cleared his throat and straightened his tie, scrutinizing Ranger with a grey, bushy brow. Ranger did not appreciate the expression but dismissed the man. The detective stood at 5'11, 190 lbs of flabby mush, salt and pepper hair, yellowing grey eyes, and an overall red complexion. _Keep glaring, buddy and you're going to find yourself flat on your fat ass with my foot in your face. _Ranger cleared his head and tuned back in to Detective Lewis.

"Mr. Manoso, we are working hard trying to find your son. If you have any information that may be useful, it is in Mateo's best interest that you share it with us. The note was very evasive and didn't give us much to go on except that your son is alive. Do you understand it, the number? Do you or Ms. Plum have any enemies that might want to hurt you? Anyone you may have angered?"

Was he kidding? His Babe contracted psychos and stalkers more often than the common cold. He had made so many enemies in his lifetime that you would be hard pressed to find someone who wasn't once angry with Ranger. He kept his blank face on and simply shook his head, though inside he was running a list of every FTA and delinquent he had dealt with in his days. If he was to get his son back alive, going through Detective Lewis and his team was not a good idea. In a normal situation for Stephanie and Ranger, playing these mind games would be necessary and vital for the apprehension. Now, Ranger wouldn't dare test the kidnapper who held his son. Detective Lewis would now just receive the same evasive, blank, unspecific answers that most people got when dealing with Ranger. With a nod and his business card, Lewis walked away and left Ranger to himself. He surveyed the hall again, the reality of the situation sweeping over once more as his guard was let down. Yellow CAUTION tape lined the walls, threaded around the doors, and sealed off Mateo's bedroom. The sight was sickening and Ranger felt nauseous, placing a hand to his stomach. Instead of scooping up his little boy in his arms, he was on the hunt for him. Ranger closed his eyes and turned, leaning his head back against the doorframe to the guest bedroom, the guilt too much for his already heavy heart. What he wouldn't give to hold Mateo, to crush him to his chest and hear his light laugh, to watch him sleep. Just the week before Ranger was teaching him how to tie his shoes, watching his little fingers handle the shoe laces to his own pair of CAT's.

"_Daddy, what next?" Mateo looked intently up at his father as they sat on the black leather couch of their living room. Ranger was resting his forearms on his knees and leaning forward to guide Mateo's small hands around the boots. He held the laces between his fingertips and followed his father's directions. _

"_Over. Si Mateo, apenas como eso. Now the other loop."(just like that) Ranger watched as his son practiced tying his boot, his little tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated. He couldn't help but smile while his heart fluttered. He had never felt more love or devotion for something so small in his entire life. After Mateo pulled the last lace taught the smile on his face was irreplaceable. Mateo's smile was one of the only things that could keep Ranger from slipping back into his internal wars, it was as bright as Stephanie's. He beamed up at his father and bounced in his seat. The gleam in his piercing blue eyes shot through Ranger like a bullet and he couldn't help himself from pulling his son into his chest and onto his lap. Mateo's arms flew around his father's neck and he squeezed for all he was worth. _

"_I did it. I tried so hard yesterday with Mama but entonces ella tuvo que ir así que no podría acabar. Pero ahora lo hice." (then she had to go so I couldn't finish. But I did it now.)His little voice sounded through Ranger's ear and he pulled himself tighter against his father. _

"_Si, mi niño. You did it." Mateo wiggled himself free of Ranger's grasp and sat up on his lap. He looked like an exact replica of Ranger as a boy. His eyes were a different color but they had the same intense stare that sent a shiver through your body. Ranger rested a massive palm on each of his son's knees as Mateo recanted the story of how Stephanie had tried to teach him but was called off by Tank to do an emergency search while Ranger was doing business. Each word he spoke was like music as Ranger rested the back of his head against the couch and stared back at his precious gift. He had killed countless civilians, torn apart families, ruined lives, and destroyed entire villages. Yet as he listened to his Carlos Mateo speak, all of his actions seemed to make sense and he found a peace in the moment, feeling like maybe his life could have a meaning. _

That cherished time he had with his son was priceless now. _I forgot. If I turned them on, Mateo would be here. Mateo is kidnapped and hurt because I fucking forgot. I forgot._ The sound of rustling sheets caught Ranger's attention. His head snapped in the direction of the sound to see Steph coming-to, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. One of the things he loved most about Steph was how expressive her face was. Every gorgeous feature of hers gave away exactly what she was feeling, whether she liked it or not, and now the emotions pouring from her eyes were enough to cripple him. He watched her horrified grimace return along with the steady stream of tears that washed down her glistening cheeks. Another shock wave of responsibility washed over him and his lungs felt water logged. He had hurt his son, and as he had watched Stephanie pass out from grief, he felt how strongly he had hurt her. Ranger had killed men for hurting his Babe, and their offenses were only half as bad as his. It was his fault that their son was taken and it was his fault that his fiancé was so miserably distraught that she couldn't support her own weight. Ranger stepped forward into the bedroom to Steph, the anguish on her face tearing at his chest. She sat up slowly and stared at him, confused, lost, miserable. He moved towards her on the bed, covering the floor beneath him in four easy strides. He sat down beside her and wrapped both arms around her shaking body as she curled herself into his chest. Ranger leaned over and with one arm, hooked her legs over his lap and pulled her on top of him, cradling her with the other arm. Steph sobbed softly against Ranger's chest and almost brought tears to his eyes. He fought with everything he had to keep his blank face on and keep the lump in his throat from erupting. Their son was missing, his walls were washed in blood. Stephanie was a sobbing mess in his arms and it was all his fault. He shook his head softly and buried his face in Steph's neck, nuzzling her curls before kissing her just below her ear.

"Tienes que ser fuerte, mi amor. Para Mateo. Él necesita a su madre ser fuerte así que ella puede luchar para él. Tienes que ser fuerte. Mateo te necesita, yo te necesita." _(You have to be strong, my love. For Mateo. He needs his mother to be strong so she can fight for him. You have to be strong. Mateo needs you, I need you.)_He muttered softly in sweet Spanish, reassuring his love in his careful embrace. She nodded softly against his shoulder and sniffed, forcing her tears to stop. Ranger's heart tightened as she was calmed. He had at least done something right. Knowing he hurt her so much was unbearable. Almost as unbearable as the pain he felt from knowing he could have prevented what had happened. After a few minutes, Ranger's phone vibrated in his pocket. He shifted her on his lap so that he could reach it and he flipped it open, looking at the caller ID first. Tank.

"Talk."

"Trace came back with the blood samples. Pork." Ranger's heart skipped a beat at that and he squeezed Stephanie a little tighter. So there was no way it was Mateo's blood in the room. Stephanie was still leaning on his shoulder so she could hear every words spoken between the two. Ranger heard her breath catch in her throat and felt her shudder with relief. Ranger cleared his throat and thought about the evidence.

"Scare tactic."

"Exactly. And we ran the number. We didn't get anything. But Lester's running it through a few more systems we picked up."

They disconnected and Ranger let out a deep breath as they both stood up. Stephanie was still wearing the outfit she had put on after waking up next to Ranger, before going downstairs to cook breakfast, before finding her son's room showered in blood and empty. She had on her bikini with a pair of cotton shorts. Her bare shoulders and stomach were laced with goose bumps and she shivered slightly in the air conditioning pumping through the house. Ranger didn't think twice before picking her up and tucking her head under his chin to take her back into their bedroom. If she walked past the scene in the hallway, he knew for sure her legs would betray her. Once in their bedroom, Ranger went to work at the dresser and found her one of his sweatshirts, the same black Rangeman hoodie that she had worn on the way up from Trenton. He slipped it over her head and she put her arms through, staring at their feet, her eyes distant and her expression vacant. Ranger lifted her chin with his index finger and searched her face, reaching around her with his other hand to press her close to his body. Something was brewing in that head of hers but he couldn't figure out what it was. He knew she was worried to the point of fainting but she had a different look about her now. He raised a brow in question and waited for it.

"How can we not know? Our _baby_. How can we not know?" She whispered painfully to him and searched him for an answer. Her face twisted back into the same grimace that had made him nauseous earlier. He knew exactly what she meant. How could they not have any idea who would have done this? _Because I forgot._ Ranger felt that same hand tear through his chest and grab onto his heart, squeezing the life out of him. Stephanie looked up at Ranger through glistening lashes and then past him at the wall, still thinking. Ranger's jaw clenched as he fought with himself over whether he deserved to live or not after this. Stephanie's expression changed briefly and her blue eyes darted back to Ranger's.

"The tapes, from his camera. What's on the tapes?" She sounded slightly hopeful, but her voice still had the same dejected drone of a whisper. He couldn't look her in the eye. How could he possibly look her in the eye when the answer to her question was so hurtful. Yet he could never lie to her. Ranger dropped his hands from her body and he took a step back from her so that there was ample room between them.

"There aren't any tapes, Babe. I never turned the cameras on. I forgot." Ranger's eyes were on the floor and his arms were crossed over his chiseled chest. The coward in him that had never been there before let his eyes linger on the floor for a moment longer before he finally got enough courage to see Steph's reaction. He should have looked at the ground longer. Stephanie looked as though she might throw up. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find words, but nothing could come out. She just stood there, horrified, grimacing as she stared at Ranger before finding the ability to form words.

"What? You forgot? I...you…Ma-…what?" Stephanie's voice never got higher than a whisper but her words alone were more cutting than any volume. Ranger stared back at her, not blinking. What could he possibly say? He had no excuse for his actions and no words of apologies could bring Mateo back. The guilt he felt couldn't compare to any pain he had ever experienced. He thought he would never be able to breathe the same again.

"Yeah, I fucked up. I forgot to turn on his camera." Ranger unfolded his arms and let out a heavy breath. He stood in front of Steph, vulnerable and feeling horribly accountable.

"You forgot. Jesus Christ, Ranger. You _forgot_. I know you've been having memory problems but you forgot to turn on our son's camera? You knew you had a memory problem since you've been home and you never asked for help, because of your pride. Well I'm glad you have your pride because my fucking son is gone, Ranger. What's your 

pride going to do about it?" Stephanie shook her head slowly and the tears began to flow again. The thought that Mateo could be safe in their arms had he remembered, it made her quiver. It stung Ranger's heart to hear her call him anything but Carlos. When she broke up with Morelli seven years ago, they were swept into a romantic love affair, hopelessly in love and together. They were together two years before Ranger left, and in that time, she only referred to him as Carlos. Her knees began to shake and she moved to the bed, just as Ranger followed behind to catch her.

"Don't touch me." She put a hand up in front of her in his direction, looking at the floor. Ranger stopped in his tracks and sighed silently through a clenched jaw. The tears continued to pour down Stephanie's cheeks and she leaned forward, resting her weight on her knees. Millions of thoughts passed through her head before it was unbearable for her to be around him anymore. She shook her head and finally raised her gaze to her fiancé.

"Get out. Get the fuck out." She wasn't whispering anymore. Her voice was flat and eerily calm as she spoke such harsh words to Ranger. He gave her an almost imperceptible nod and turned. He deserved that and didn't expect anything less. The pain from her words almost felt enjoyable, like he deserved to feel so miserable and guilty. If only he could take Mateo's place.

Stephanie's body shook with sobs as she thought about what had just happened and the information given to her by the man who swore to protect their son. Her heart ached at the thought that this all could have been prevented, that Ranger had let her son be taken away_. _She watched as Ranger walked out of their bedroom and in to the hall. His shoulders sagged and were rounded slightly, his head hung too low for a man of his caliber. He was still thin, still too weak, still scarred and tainted. Something inside her sparked as she watched him. He was still just as broken as the day he came back. Why would Ranger let anyone take their son? He was such an amazing father. Every day he spent with Mateo since his return was like a scene from a movie. He taught Mateo how to be a gentleman, how to take care of himself, how to ride a bike, how to tie his shoes. The past two months had been surreal and no child could ever ask for a better father than Ranger. Stephanie sniffled back her tears and stood. Her son was taken from her and she couldn't afford to lose the love of her life, either.

"No, Carlos…" He was in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, his back to her. She watched his shoulders stiffen at her voice, then he turned. Her stomach turned in knots. The expression on his face made her feel the same way he had once he saw hers. She never thought someone so beautiful could look so dreadfully ugly. His tired face held the same weary look it did the day he came home. Tired, beaten, defeated, guilty, miserable. Her eyes softened and she stepped towards him, closing the gap between them. He met her half way and they crashed into each other. Stephanie's head resumed the position as always, tucked under his chin and resting on his chest, her arms tight around his neck. Ranger held her close and ran his hands over her back, his face buried in her neck.

"Babe." The man of many words didn't have to say anything else. In that one syllable, Stephanie heard ten million I'm sorry's and thousands of Please forgive me's.

"I'm so sorry. No signifiqué eso. No es tu avería, mi amor." (_I didn't mean that. It's not your fault.) _The ease in which she whispered Spanish to him set his heart on fire and calmed his shaky hands. It felt so natural and right, even though her skin was as milky and pale as the paper he wrote out his vows on the week before he had even proposed. She raised her head and looked up into his pained chocolate gaze with hers. Releasing one of her hands from around his neck, Steph removed the tie that held back his hair. It fell loosely around his neck, brushing against her arms as she held herself close to him. He seemed to relax at her touch as they stared at each other, conveying fears and emotions without words. They both loved their son equally and to put a blame on either would be ridiculous. Well, Stephanie thought that anyway. Ranger was still debating if Mateo would be better off with his father dead or alive. He was leaning towards the first option. Did he deserve to live? Did he deserve to have his family? He would find Mateo, risk his life for it, but would he be so selfish as to stick around after? No, he wouldn't commit suicide, something so juvenile and dishonorable in his eyes. Mateo would need financial support and so would his mother. Stephanie released his gaze and kissed Ranger's smooth lips softly, still silently apologizing for the horrible words she had spoken. It felt good to have her kiss him again, but he knew in his heart that it was still his fault. The tears started to pour again and she whispered against his lips, words mixing with her fallen tears.

"Bring my baby back." Ranger fisted her curls and pressed her closer to him as a sign of acknowledgement. He wanted nothing more than to have their son back.

The house had been emptied, save for the sea of Merry Men Ranger had put together. To find his son, Ranger wouldn't trust the feds or the uniforms to handle any serious information. Tank had given them some fake leads to go on to stay out of their way. If they followed through with the names, the New York State Police would be in California hunting down a kidnapper that Cal had killed years ago but never reported it. The men in black sat at the kitchen table, all in front of laptops staring at the screen, picking through the search results. Phones were ringing, pagers buzzing, Blackberries chirping, alive with the sound of the search for Mateo. Ranger, Tank, Hal, Lester, Bobby, Cal, Ram, all sat tense and alert with their eyes peeled on the screens while rattling off names and numbers.

Stephanie was not at the table. She stood at the back door, numb and cold, staring out the sliding glass door with a shirt of Mateo's in her arms. Her mind had been racing as she tried to think of anyone…anyone who could possibly want their son. _34801923…_ Steph's thoughts soon drifted to happier times.

_Ranger had been back for three weeks and it was the first time in those three weeks that he had left the Rangeman building. Stephanie was desperate to get her Carlos back and collaborated ideas with Tank to bring Batman out of his shadows. So there they sat, in a car on the Ferris Wheel at the boardwalk, enjoying the ride for a few hours. Stephanie had remembered the places she went to every time she felt depressed and decided on taking him to the shore, since Ranger wouldn't feel the comfort she felt from the Batcave. The funnel cakes, salty air, screeching of the lonely gulls in the early mornings of summer. It all reminded Steph of calm and that was what Ranger needed. _

_Little Mateo sat on his father's lap facing him, playing with Ranger's dog tags that still hung around his neck while asking him questions about his life. The entire day, Ranger's eyes never left his son's face. The boy had a power over him and he was hooked. A horn sounded off in the distance, a barge signaling its presence on the horizon as it pulled into port. _

"_Stand up, Mateo. You can see the ships on the water." Ranger turned his attention from his son briefly to nod toward the ocean view from the side of their metal car. Mateo's exquisite blue eyes widened and he shook his head furiously. Surprised at his reaction, Ranger raised a brow in question._

"_Por qué no?" Ranger's gaze met Mateo's as he waited for his reasoning. As a boy, Ranger distinctly remembered getting himself into countless accidents and dangerous situations. The plastic surgeons at the hospital knew him by name and he had gotten over 300 stitches by the time he was nine. From what he understood from Stephanie, Mateo was exactly like his father and even shared her dream to fly. Apparently he had practiced one day off the roof of Tank's F-450 while they were doing some work in the garage. That got him a trip to the emergency room and a pat on the back from the Merry Men. _

"_I'll fall." Mateo was genuinely afraid of standing up and held onto Ranger's shoulders for dear life. So he wasn't afraid of jumping off of a truck, but the height of the Ferris Wheel tamed the boy. Ranger furrowed his brow and shook his head softly. _

"_No, Mateo. Nunca te dejo caerse, never." (No, Mateo. I will never let you fall) Ranger felt Mateo's grip loosen gradually from his shoulders and watched as his expression changed from that of fear to confidence. He nodded and stood on the seat next to Ranger, smiled brightly at the sight of the barges coming into port on the coastline while warming his father's frigid heart. Ranger kept a protective hand both on Mateo's stomach and back and watched his face for any sign of fear. His son's luminous smile was unwavering as his small hands held onto the hand that Ranger had splayed across his stomach. _

The sound of a fist slamming down on to the table top snapped Stephanie out of her trance. Lester stood up swiftly, pushing his chair back and picking up his laptop simultaneously.

"I got it. 34801923, Harrison Wolf. Age 27, 6'5, 240 lbs, Navy SEAL. Left on a Special Ops mission five years ago, never came back." The men gathered around Lester's screen and reread the information already spoken, as if it would further the validity. Ranger nodded once and immediately started giving orders to search for the soldier's family. Harrison Wolf would be the missing link between Ranger and his son.


	5. Chapter 5

Within minutes, the Rangemen had a comprehensive list of every person on the face of the earth that had bloodlines tracing back to Harrison Wolf. That list was then broken down by different factors and left them with the only family Wolf had left, his father, Stephen Wolf. Stephanie was handed the paper as a formality, and before she could even finish reading his name, the men were suiting up. Ranger began to snap and buckle and strap and attach, rattling off each weapon as he went, making sure each of the Merry Men were properly outfitted for whatever was thrown their way.

"Stun gun."

"Good."

"17."

"Good."

"22."

"Good."

"31."

"Good."

"7-inch."

"Not sharp."

"I don't really care if you leave a pretty scar, Ram. Do you have the fucking knife?"

"Good."

"9-inch."

"Good."

"Extra mags."

"Good."

"Let's move. Alright, Tank you ride with me and Hector in the F-450. Hal, Ram you ride the Denali. Bobby, Lester, Cal take the Bronco. "

Without another word, Rangeman's most capable and trusted employees began to head out. Through their entire dressing, Stephanie was in a fog. She watched as they suited up, packing knives and handguns and extra bullets. It all felt so normal to her at first. She had watched them dress this way many times, to catch a skip or do security, or even chase away one of her stalkers. Her stomach felt heavy as she thought about why they were preparing this time out. This wasn't a skip, and it sure as hell wasn't some security job they would breeze through. There would be no smiles and laughter as they left, as Stephanie wished them luck knowing they wouldn't need it. So many times they joked around about how they might as well get paid to shower, since most of their jobs were just as easy. Now, as they suited up and gathered their artillery, they dressed with an intense passion that ensured no item would be forgotten. Each man would step out the door, knowing that this would be the most important 

job they'd ever leave for. They would leave with the aim of saving Mateo, even if it meant returning home in a body bag. Stephanie hugged her body tightly and stared at the Rangemen, her eyes glazed over and her vision blurred. Her sight came into focus again as she felt a hard warm body pressed up behind her and two strong arms wrap around her sides and clasp on her stomach. She closed her eyes and sighed before turning around and resting her head on Ranger's chest, tucking it beneath his chin as he kissed the top of her hair.

"We'll get him, Babe. No matter what." He kissed her hair softly again and squeezed her tighter before she looked up into his liquid chocolate eyes, searching for honesty behind his words. Ranger had a strong knot in his chest at the thought of getting to Harrison's father. If he had interpreted the note correctly, whoever the kidnapper was held Ranger responsible for not bringing Harrison back, and it would most likely be his father. While reading the note, Ranger tried to remember if one particular soldier had caught his attention. For the life of him he couldn't recall anything but the horrific memories that plagued his dreams. Chaos, bullets, blood, groans of pain, bombs, fires, screams, barking orders, grenades, chaos. He couldn't remember a time when he hadn't saved a soldier that could have been saved or helped a soldier that could have been helped. Stephanie sighed softly as she found whatever it was that she was looking for in Ranger's steady gaze. She didn't have a tear left in her and she was too tired to get upset again. Ranger lowered his head and kissed her softly.

"I have to go, Babe. I'll call the second I get anything new." He kept his voice steady as best he could. He not only had the ability to keep his face blank but he had obtained the strength to keep his voice unwavering. He knew that if Steph heard any fault in his words or tone, she'd come apart again. After looking into her eyes, Ranger felt a new wash of guilt. She was so broken and in such agony that he couldn't bear the sight anymore. The only other time he had seen her so miserable was the day he told her he was to report for duty five years ago. He caressed her back gently, running his wide palms over her sweatshirt. The fire behind her brilliant sapphire eyes was lost. She looked dead, she was dead. Her desire to live left with Mateo through the back door, sometime in the middle of the night while Stephanie and Ranger rested peacefully. Whoever had Mateo had her heart, her soul, her everything. She loved Ranger with her whole being but nothing could compare to the love she felt for their son. Steph nodded slowly and reached up to kiss Ranger softly. First on his lips, then trailing gently to just below his ear long his chiseled jaw, taking comfort in the feeling of his presence.

"I love you." She kissed him once more just below his ear before pressing herself closer against his body. Ranger visibly grimaced at her words.

"Why?" Ranger whispered into her ear softly as he held her, closing his eyes as he shook his head. It was more of a rhetorical question. How could she possibly love him after what he had done? Hadn't he just admitted to being at fault for their son's disappearance? Stephanie turned her head and kissed his neck softly before taking a step back. She held back every emotion that she had running through her. She had to keep Ranger going. If she wasn't strong enough to fight for her son, then someone sure as hell had to be. No way could she let him leave without the right mindset. She took one of his callused hands and placed it on top of hers so that his finger tips touched her engagement ring he had given her the night before. She stared up into his molten irises and repeated herself with a fiery intensity.

"I love you." She whispered the sentiment again and held his hand firmly over hers. Ranger didn't have words for her. Never had he felt so undeserving. His blank face was set on again and he just nodded once. Normally the lack of emotion would disturb Steph but if his blank face was what it took to get Mateo back, then so be it. Their lips connected once more and the Merry Men were off.

Ranger drove in silence as they barreled down the highway at impossible speeds. Stephanie's last words to him before he left stuck on his mind. She loved him? Ranger tried to understand how she could still feel the same about the man who had single-handedly gotten their son kidnapped. For his actions, for his war, for his conflicts, Mateo was taken. Ranger had wanted to avoid a relationship in the first place with his Babe because of this exact reason. Time after time he ripped his own heart out of his chest and sent it back to Morelli with Steph. They shared stolen kisses in the alley, inconspicuous touches, secret phone calls. But he could never get the balls to keep her around.

Every time he would walk away or drive her back to her apartment, the knot in his stomach would get tighter and tighter. Every time he would say goodbye and explain how his love came with a condom not a ring, it was a lie. He had dreamed of putting that ring on her finger, watching her walk down the aisle, hearing her introduce herself as Stephanie Manoso. He dreamed of it every second he let himself relax too much or when his work wasn't distracting enough. The great Ricardo Carlos Manoso was whipped the day she walked into the coffee shop for their first meeting. Now he had it and she had given him a son and agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. What did he do to repay her for the most passionate love he had ever felt? He let someone take their Mateo. She named him after his grandfather and cousin, she taught him Spanish so he could speak to his family, she raised him to be a strong little boy with a heart of a lion, she waited for him. How did he repay her? He let someone take their Mateo. Ranger woke up from his "beat-up-Ranger" session with a shudder and realized that they had arrived at the house of Stephen Wolf.

"_Mama? Dónde está el papá?" Mateo looked up at his mother through thick black lashes. _

"_He's still on assignment, Mateo." Steph continued to wash him and sunk the washcloth into the bathwater before returning it to her son's back. He looked thoughtfully at his rubber boat floating past him before looking back up at his mother._

"_When will he be back?_

"_I don't know." Stephanie sighed and continued to wash him, getting every inch of his caramel skin with the washcloth. She poured more Bulgari shower gel onto it before standing him up so that she could clean his dirty knees. _

"_Can we go get him? I can move my car seat so there will be room for him __**and **__Uncle Tank in the back seat, since I'm not allowed to sit in the front." He looked into his mother's eyes and waited for her answer. Steph stared back, mouth hanging open like an idiot. She didn't know what to say. At 4 years old, Mateo had never once mentioned a solution to his father's absence and she was speechless. If only it were that simple. _

"_No. I wish we could."_

"_But he's okay, right?" Steph washed his dirty, grass stained knees thoughtfully and didn't dare to look up at her son. The genuine sincerity and innocence in his voice shot through her like a bullet. _

"_Pray for him, Mateo." And that was her answer. She had no idea. All they could do was hope and pray._

Tank had been on the phone with Stephanie's mother as well as Ranger's. About 25 Rangemen were stationed on different parts of the property as well as three on every floor, but Ranger knew Stephanie would feel alone. Before the cavalry had even pulled out of the driveway, Mrs. Plum and Mrs. Manoso were picked up at their respective homes and driven to the estate to be with his Babe. It would be 

almost impossible for Stephanie to stay home and not leave to go on her own Mateo hunt but she did need to be there. If someone called the house or if the damned detectives showed up again, Steph needed to be there. She sat at the dining room table, staring off into space while she clutched the shirt of Mateo's she had never put down, not even to say goodbye to Ranger. Her cheeks had dried but the sheen of tears hadn't left her blue eyes. She couldn't focus her eyes and every speck of dust in the room reminded her of her son's absence. Her waterlogged chest felt heavy and she could hardly breathe. _How could this have happened? _She awoke from her trance with a jump as the closing of the front door stole the silence from the room. Her nervous eyes watched the front hall to see who the visitor was. She heard muttering and mumbling before the voices were clear enough, introducing the guests.

"Will you speak English? Where is Stephanie? Stephanie!?"

"Oh mi dios, Stephanie, Mateo. Dónde está nuestro bebé? Stephanie!" _(Oh my god, Stephanie, Mateo. Where is our baby? Stephanie!)_

The two woman made their way through the front hall and into the kitchen, stopping dead in their tracks at the sight of the woman they were seeking. She was as pale as milk and had lost all desire to live. The glow in her eyes was replaced by redness and swelling, sinking back into her cheekbones. Steph's nose was clogged from crying but it appeared to her mothers that she was gaping in shock. At once, the women threw themselves at the table, hugging her and holding her, rocking her. Stephanie couldn't react. She sat while the two smoothed her hair, whispering things in Hungarian and Spanish while crying. Steph had no more tears and just sat still, staring straight ahead and clutching Mateo's shirt to her chest. After minutes of their comforting, the two very different women stood and went to busying themselves. If there is one thing you can bet your life on, it's that Spanish and New Jersey mothers thrive in times of crisis. It is what they are born to do, serve and comfort. Mrs. Manoso went straight to the kitchen and began getting out ingredients for some comfort food. Mrs. Plum went to the curtains and began dusting, straightening the scattered papers on the table once she had finished the drapes. She felt uncomfortable in the silence and attempted to console her daughter.

"Oh, Stephanie, we'll find him. He's going to come home and we'll all go to the beach. We can go to the boardwalk and ride the Ferris Wheel. Oh, he loves the Ferris Wheel! Stephanie, are you listening to me?" She stopped her busy work and reached across the table to take Steph's hand. Her eyes only lifted and she stared blankly at her mother. What did she want her to say? That she knew Mateo would be ok? She didn't. That this wasn't preventable and that there was nothing she could have done? Because there were a million things they had done to keep her safe in Trenton. Why couldn't they protect their little boy in the middle of nowhere? Steph parted her lips to speak but chose not to and just withdrew her hand. What she really wanted was for Ranger to come back home and hold her, but that wouldn't bring Mateo back. Helen ignored her daughter and continued to try and fill the air.

"Stephanie, that ring is absolutely gorgeous. You are going to have the most beautiful wedding. It doesn't have to be big if you don't want. Maybe just on the beach? I won't even let your Grandmother tell her friends at the salon. But she has told them that your son has built in body armor. I couldn't stop that one." Grandma Mazur had no shame when it came to her favorite Great Grandchild. Stephanie flickered her eyes to her mother in acknowledgement but made no move to speak or even twitch. Helen sighed softly and reached for the plate of food at the head of the table where Mateo would have eaten it. Before her hand reached the plate, Stephanie snapped back.

"No! Leave it. Mateo hasn't eaten yet. He'll be hungry and then he won't be able to make it to dinner and he'll want a snack. And if he eats a snack he won't eat much dinner. He'll be hungry in the middle of 

the night and it'll screw up his sleep pattern. Leave it." The sheer violence that was packed behind her words had startled Mrs. Manoso, causing her to drop the wooden spoon in her hand. Helen stared at her daughter in shock and just nodded, muttering under her breath. She thought she was doing ok, but much to her disliking, the tears starting coming again just as she finished her sentence. Stephanie shook with sobs as she was overwhelmed, shaking her head slowly. Mateo wouldn't eat that plate of food she had made for him. Mrs. Manoso didn't bother picking up the spoon she had dropped. She made her way around the counter and went to Stephanie's side, crying her own tears of despair. Mrs. Plum did the same and came around the table to be at her daughter's side.

The Rangeman crew pulled in front of Stephen Wolf's run down home. Sussex County, New Jersey was one of the only areas left in the state with enough untouched land so that Wolf's home could be completely surrounded by woodlands. Like clockwork, each man took their usual checks around the property before they reconvened in front of the door. Ranger pounded his fist on the door two times, stepping back so that he had his men at his sides and not behind him. After a moment, the men heard rustling and deadbolts turning. The unpainted, cracked wooden door was pulled back slightly and a wiry popped his head out. His expression was tense and he appeared to be incredibly inconvenienced by his visitors. Stephen Wolf stood at 6'0, weighed 200 lbs, had thin white hair, and tired looking features.

"Wuddya' want?" His thick Brooklyn accent was laced with venom as he spat at the group of Rangemen with blank stares on their faces.

"My name is Ranger Manoso and these are my employees. I'm looking for Stephen Wolf. There is a missing child and we have resources that lead us back to him. If we could just ask him a few questions, maybe we could get some helpful information." Ranger thought he sounded rather civil, considering this man potentially had his missing son. If the man was crazy enough to take Mateo in the first place, hostility right off the bat wouldn't necessarily be in his son's best interest. Ranger stood patiently as Stephen eyed the rest of the Rangemen. Each one stood placid and still as stone, blank faces, blank eyes, clenched jaws, arms at their sides. Wolf's brow furrowed and he opened his crooked haggard mouth.

"No speak English." In that same heavy Brooklyn accent, Stephen Wolf dismissed the men and slammed the door shut. Ranger reached for his gun but before he could even wrap his long fingers around the cool black metal, seven black CAT boots shot out in front of him and kicked down the unpainted, cracked wooden door. Ranger was moved aside as Tank, Cal, Ram, Bobby, Lester, Hector, and Hal heaved themselves through the six-foot-wide doorframe with one loud grunt, pushing through each other to get to the man that potentially had Mateo. God help him.

**This chapter was short, I know, but I was having a hard time deciding where to end this one and start the next. Thank you all for your patience. I hope this is enough to hold you over until the next chapter! And I'm sorry for the funky line breaks. I swear it looks normal when I submit it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I planned on this one coming out faster but I was recovering from JerseyGirl's The Name of the Game final chapter and I almost drowned my keyboard lol **

For the ninth time, Ranger asked Stephen Wolf for the whereabouts of Mateo. For the ninth time, Stephen Wolf replied with a shit eating grin, allowing the blood that had been trapped behind his lips to flow out of the side of his mouth, trailing down along his jaw to pool at the crevice created by his shoulder and collar bone. More frustrated than he ever had been before, Ranger stared back at the man, his fists clenched at his sides. Ram and Cal both had a firm grip on each of Stephen's arms so that he was propped up against a wall. Tank's first round of questioning rendered Wolf's legs useless. His knee caps had shattered into tiny pieces beneath callused skin at Tank's crushing blows. After waiting thirty seconds for Wolf to answer, Ranger gave in to his rage and sent his fist sailing once more, the cruel points of the brass knuckles he wore tearing flesh from bone on impact, knocking Wolf's head back so that it dented the wall behind him.

"For the last time, where is he?"

Ranger ground out his words through tightly clenched teeth. Ranger had yet to let his fist fall and it remained poised in a manner fit for a boxing match, Wolf's blood tarnishing the rugged skin of his fist, gleaming off of the brass weapon threaded through Ranger's fingers. As much as he wanted to grab Wolf by the back of the head and slam his face into his knee, he knew that Mateo would still be missing while the man lay dead beneath Ranger. His frustration had reached a new level and for the second time that day, the first seeing Steph crying, Ranger felt a lump form in his throat. He was so close to getting his son, to having his baby back in his arms, and Wolf was showing no signs of relenting. Had they met under different circumstances, Ranger would have offered him a job. Keeping silent while under torture is a hard to come by talent that only few men Ranger had met possessed. Ranger only knew for sure that seven of his one hundred and five employees would remain quiet under torture. The rest he could only hope. Ranger turned his back to the man and dragged his clean hand down his face in pure exasperation. He had no ideas left. They had broken his knee caps, ripped flesh away from his face, threatened. Nothing. He wouldn't budge. If any of the Merry Men had an idea as to what else to do to the man to get him to speak, they would have communicated with Ranger in some way. Not one of them could think of any other way to get him to speak.

"It hurts, Manoso, missin' your son." Ranger stiffened at the crackling, gargled words that erupted from Stephen Wolf's bloody mouth. He turned to face the man and stared at him, blank face set on.

"Where is he?"

"We're very simila', you and I. I lost my son. My son was taken from me. While I slept, my son was killed. I got the call at 3 am that my Harrison was dead. Tell me, _soldier_, what time was it when you discovered your son was missing?" Ranger's control was beginning to slip. He felt the anger boil inside of him as each muscle twitched with anticipation, his hands clenching and releasing in violent fashion as he tried to restrain himself. Wolf's eyes darted from Ranger's face to his pulsating muscles and he gave him another bloody grin. Rolling his neck in an attempt to ease some of the tension he had harboring, Ranger sighed harshly and glared at Wolf one last time before he knew he would snap.

"Where is he?"

"He's quite the screama', that one. Fights hard, too. He bit me, your little Mateo, your precious son, your pride and joy, the next great Manoso to walk the streets. What beautiful eyes he has. Just like that pretty little thing that you left behind to go fight your war. She is one good looking bitch, I'll give ya that." Ranger's temper flared and he took a loaded step towards Wolf. Lester and Hector both reacted instantly and clamped down on his shoulders, their brute strength the only thing separating Wolf from a gruesome death. The Rangeman manual had a specific chapter dedicated to their family relations policy. In bold words, repeated in four different languages, the policy stated: No Rangeman employee is to take part in any activities directly or indirectly pertaining to matters of personal nature. Ranger was breaking his own rules and his performance, or lack thereof, was the reason he had created that part of the policy. His emotions had gotten in the way of his better judgment and he was not handling the situation in a way that would meet Rangeman standards. If he killed Wolf now, there would be no way of getting more information out of him. Stephen's bloody grin grew wider. He gurgled another bubble of blood.

"Ah, that hit a sore spot, hah? That tight little ass. And those luscious lips and her breasts, mmmmm. You know of all people how good looking the bitch is. You knocked her up, didn't you? The night before you left, how romantic. She gave you a son. And you love that little boy. You love _Carlos Mateo_. When you look at him, your heart feels like it's going to explode out of your chest. When he calls you 'Daddy', you want to cry because you never want to be called anything else, by anyone else." Ranger kept his blank face on but he was secretly startled. He had never had someone pinpoint his emotions so accurately, except for his Babe. With what little energy he had left, Wolf continued, dry tears ripping through his vocal chords and giving away his pain.

"And then you find out he's gone. Did you like that? Because I sure as hell didn't. You left my boy back in that jungle, Manoso. How was I supposed to keep going? You need to feel the same pain I felt. Your little boy is your world. And Harrison was mine. You left him in that jungle. You need to feel my pain. I won't let you escape it." The bitter distaste and cutting edge to his words sliced through Ranger. He shrugged himself out of Cal and Hector's grasp and turned his back to Wolf. Slowly, Ranger began to unwrap the athletic tape that was laced between his thick fingers, blood spitting off as the adhesive released. His heart thundered in his chest while his mind raced. He was all out of ideas. Wolf had no family left and to threaten him with death would be threatening to finally ease his pain. Once the tape was off and at Ranger's feet, he slid the metal from his fingers and put the brass knuckles in his pocket. His shoulders heaved softly in a silent sigh.

"What do you want?" Ranger had never begged for anything in his entire life. But there he stood, shoulders sagged and his face washed with defeat. Stephen lost his bloody grin and thought for a moment, seriously considering a tradeoff. He wracked his brain, searching for something that could possibly leave Ranger in the same position he was in. The second he had made his decision Ranger knew, because the slimy blood and saliva mixture dribbled out of the corner of his mouth with the sweeping shit eating grin.

"I want blood. Manoso blood. Not yours, you're not allowed to escape your pain. Someone you love needs to die, right here, in front of me." Ranger stiffened again. He knew it would come down to this. If he could sacrifice himself, the entire ordeal would be over as fast as the bullet could leave the gun. But Wolf specifically said that he wanted someone Ranger _loved._ Stephanie was absolutely out of the question and there was no way in hell he could actually ask someone to give up their life for Mateo, though he knew many people who would. _Jesus, why can't I just kill myself. Steph could collect my life insurance, Mateo would be taken care of. Maybe I can convince him to-_

"I'm his brother." Ranger snapped his head in the general direction of the voice that broke the silence, Bobby's. All of the Rangemen stared blankly at Bobby, though their eyes held a severe intensity. They had a silent conversation with each other, only detectable to a select few. They debated back and forth who would sacrifice themselves, all with their eyes while they remained in their statuesque poses. It was understood that Tank of course could not pass as a relative of Ranger's but he would if he could. Hector, Lester, Hal, Ram, Bobby, and Cal all battled silently over who would step forward and take the bullet. Bobby cleared his throat and once again beat the rest of the Rangemen to it. "I'm his brother." The slightest spark of satisfaction twinkled in Wolf's eyes, spreading his bloody smile even wider. Bobby stood at 6'4, 240 lbs. He had jet black hair and jet black eyes, tanned skin from doing field work. To the untrained and aged eye of Stephen Wolf, Bobby looked every bit as Cuban as Ranger did. In reality, Bobby, or Robert O'Callaghan, became a United States citizen at the age of three after his family moved over from Ireland, his father taking the last name Brown to escape his past. Bobby loved Mateo like his own nephew and had no problem playing Cuban if it meant the boy would live. Wolf coughed up something that looked like a piece of flesh that was ruptured by Ranger's fist and he spit it out in front of him, while looking at Ranger.

"Well, that settles it then. So which one of the Men In Black is going to do the honors?" The sickening blood-spattered grin made its way on his face again and the men spoke to each other with their eyes. Undetectable to any normal civilian, the conversation ended when Lester stepped up to the plate. Ranger put his hand up to tell him to wait and turned his attention to Wolf. He had no way of knowing that Wolf would actually give up Mateo's whereabouts, or that Mateo was in fact in his possession. No way in hell could he let one of his men die without any certainty. Ranger couldn't help but feel selfish and worthless as he watched Bobby relax his muscles and disarm himself. His eyes settled on Bobby's, pleading him to retract the statements and let Ranger take the blow. Bobby shook his head softly and continued to remove the knives strapped to his ankles.

"Not for you, for Mateo." An overwhelming feeling of understanding and gratitude swept Ranger and he felt his heart rate pick up. It felt a little easier to agree to it since he knew that it was solely for Mateo that Bobby was giving his life. Ranger turned his attention towards Wolf again.

"How do I know Mateo is actually alive?" The question drove a nail through Ranger's heart but it had to be asked. At Ranger's request, Stephen let out a low, gurgled laugh. He had planned the entire scenario down to the last detail and he knew it would come down to this. Ranger had, for the first time, underestimated his opponent and everything was falling into place for Wolf. He nodded his head weakly in the direction of the back corner of the room and stared at a TV.

"Turn on the TV." Tank hesitated a moment before moving over to the corner of the room and pressing the ON button. With a high pitched wheeze, the television flickered on. On the screen was a video feed of a bedroom, walls and carpeting identical to the room the men stood in. In the middle of the unmade bed sat Mateo, bound by the wrists and ankles. His dark hair was matted to his forehead by the same blood that had drenched his walls. His crystal blue eyes were half closed as he battled to stay awake, but it was clear he was suffering from exhaustion. The tender skin around his ankles and wrists was irritated and inflamed and slow tears trickled down his swollen cheeks. Ranger audibly inhaled at the sight of his son. His baby looked like he was on the verge of death, though he had only been gone less than 24 hours. All of the Rangemen had the same heavy, water logged feeling in their lungs while they watched their boy. Bobby shook his head and continued to disarm. Seeing the video only further assured him that his death was totally and completely necessary. Wolf coughed again and got the attention of the Rangemen. "You're boy's alive, Manoso. Not for long, though."

Stephanie sat at the dining room table, still clutching the wrinkled shirt of Mateo's in her death grip. It smelled weakly of Ranger's shower gel, having just been taken off the boy hours before he went to bed. Since he was three, Stephanie bathed him with Ranger's shower gel. Mateo was the closest thing she could have to his father while he was away. Every time she hugged Mateo or even when she passed him in the room, she smelled Ranger. Rubbing his caramel colored back while he slept, smelling the deep earthy scent of the soap, running her fingers over his thick head of black hair, Stephanie had a miniature Ranger wherever she went. Seeing Mateo every day as he stared at her with the same painfully intense gaze that his father had made Steph's heart break. The only traits Mateo had inherited from his mother was her bright blue eyes and desire to fly. Other than that, he was exactly his father. Even though Ranger had returned, she couldn't break the habit of bathing their son with the shower gel and so the scent still clung to his clothing. The weak scent was the only thing keeping her remotely sane in that moment.

The hum of soothing Spanish behind her had stopped, as did the busy Burg bustling around the table she sat at. In her haze, she had told the two women to leave and promised to call with news, though she didn't realize she had done any of it. So she sat in the wooden dining room chair, waiting, hoping, praying. Her eyes began to grow heavy as the weight of the day washed over her. The ringing of the phone didn't even seem to faze her until after three rings. Steph sprang to her feet as if someone switched her lights back on and darted to the phone.

"Baby?"

"_Not quite, Ms. Plum. This is Detective Lewis. I'm calling with some very exciting news. We have your son. He was found by a maid at a motel and she called the police. He is currently sitting next to me in a squad car. We'll be over as soon as possible_." Stephanie didn't know whether to scream or cry, so she did both after hanging up the phone. Her thumb pressed and held the number 1 on her cell phone and she sat while it rang. Once, twice, three, four, five, six times, voicemail.

"Carlos, they found Mateo. He's on his way here."

Ranger felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but was too fixated on the television to react. Ranger sighed heavily and shook his head, turning to look at his men. He watched solemnly as Lester took a handgun from the back of his pants and cocked it, his hands visibly shaking and his breathing low and harsh. The lump in his throat dared to break free and he had to cough to suppress a sound of emotion as he readied his hand gun. Bobby had been his partner for over six years and today would be their last day side by side. All of the men let their stone poses go and fidgeted in place as they watched Bobby move so that his back was pressed to the wall.

"Uh, guys. If Bombshell asks…."

"Stray bullet." Ram finished Bobby's sentence with his booming voice and Bobby was glad for it because his mouth suddenly felt horribly dry and gummy. He nodded once and leaned his head back against the 

wall. Like an executioner, Lester stepped forward and heaved his shoulders in a silent sigh. With a terribly unsteady hand, Lester raised the gun to Bobby's temple. Lester had shot many men but never a comrade, let alone a partner. He made the mistake of looking Bobby in the eye. Just as he did so, his breathing became even more sporadic and his heart rate tripled, loosening his grip on the gun. It fell and met the floor with a harsh clang. Bobby's chest rose and fell with a steady rhythm. He had no reservations about his untimely demise. His warriors' stance was unwavering as the gun fell and he couldn't help but feel guilty for having one of his men take the responsibility. A strong hand came down on Lester's shoulder and Cal pulled him back. Without hesitation, Hector stepped forward and unsheathed his gun. He raised it in the same fashion Lester had and he also looked Bobby in the eye. Slowly, with his empty hand he motioned the sign of the cross over Bobby's torso while whispering softly.

"Nada que puedes perder muriendo es medio tan precioso como la preparación a morir, que es carta del hombre de la nobleza." _(__Nothing that you can lose dying is half as precious as the preparation to die, that is letter of the man of nobility)_

Only Hector, Ranger, and Bobby could understand the quote but every man understood the heart behind it. At his words, the Rangemen took their military stance. Each one stood with feet shoulder width apart, hands behind their back, head held high. With a nod, Hector pulled the trigger. A gargled laugh from Wolf was the last thing he heard before slumping to the floor.

**Ah! Wait, but Mateo is on his way to Stephanie! I know, I know, I killed Bobby, sorry. I did warn you all in the last chapter. I'm surprised nobody caught it. This chapter is rushed and I apologize. I think it reads too fast and it seems like it's missing something but if I didn't post this now, you all would have had to wait an entire week! I just couldn't do that to you or to little Mateo lol**

**Please read and review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry this didn't come out earlier. I've been in Germany for a week showing some of my horses so I really haven't had much time to write. But I've been dying to get this out! Well, here it is……**

**Warning: As always, you can't escape my potty mouth, but this chapter I find incredibly angsty. **

_Ranger and Stephanie lay peacefully in their bed, both naked as the day they were born and fully satisfied. He was on his back with Stephanie on her side, her leg and half of her bare torso draped over him with his arm wrapped around her, a soft smile spread across her pouty lips as she drew circles across his broad chest with the tip of her finger. _

"_Babe." His raspy whisper broke the silence and grabbed Steph's attention. She tilted her head up slightly to look into his molten gaze and kissed the bottom of his chin softly._

"_Mm?" _

"_I have to leave again." He felt the gorgeous form beneath his arm stiffen uncomfortably and watched as her startling blue eyes glazed over. He tried to reassure her with soothing touches but her muscles remained just as tense as the stress lines in his forehead and the breathtaking smile of hers had gone. Steph stopped drawing circles on his chest and splayed her fingers wide across his caramel colored pec, still looking up at him. _

"_Again? You just got back two weeks ago." She choked out coherent thoughts between the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks. Ranger had just returned from a mission only two weeks before and had been away for three weeks and two days. It wasn't the first time Ranger had left on assignment in the two years they were together, but just like the last time she counted the milliseconds until he returned. Ranger didn't have to answer her. Instead he tucked an unruly curl behind her ear and kissed her softly. Their relationship was an adventure in itself because of the commitment issues they had in the past. But add in the fact that Ranger could be called away at a moment's notice, well…there was an unspoken tension that loomed over them, casting a heavy shadow. They knew it going in and it was out of their control. He lifted his eyes from Stephanie and stared up at the ceiling, not trusting himself to stay composed with Stephanie crying in his arms. Instead of convincing him to stay, she avoided the inevitably fruitless pleading and just asked for details that he could give her._

"_How long?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_When did you get the call?"_

"_An hour ago."_

"_When do you leave?"_

"_Three hours."_

"_Are you going to be alone?"_

"_No, Babe." He felt her muscles relax slightly at that. Knowing he had a support crew behind him was like being given the tiniest bit of slack in a taught noose around your neck-it doesn't help much, but you'll take it._

"_Is it an 'in the wind' sort of thing? Can you come home in between at all?" Ranger didn't answer right away. He stared up at the ceiling and stroked her back as he calculated a response that wouldn't rock her world, though the news couldn't be taken lightly. After thirty seconds of agonizing silence, Stephanie reached up and kissed the side of Ranger's mouth. "Carlos?" When she said his name like that, the way it rolled off her tongue so easily and with such love and care, his heart sped up momentarily. He finally took his gaze off of the ceiling and into her eyes. _

"_No. This isn't an 'in the wind' sort of thing. This is a 'please respect my living will and remember where I bought the plot of land next to my grandparents' sort of thing." Stephanie audibly inhaled at his words and another wave of tears spilled over her lashes, the exact reaction Ranger knew he would somehow have to face when the government called in its final favor. He had warned her many times that this would happen, and explained how serious and foreseeable it was. Of course she had understood, but could she really prepare herself for the facts? She knew this would happen but until the words escaped Ranger's lips, the thoughts hadn't sunk in. Ranger brought his callused hand to her face and cradled her cheek, wiping away her tears with a rough thumb. Her eyes pleaded the words she couldn't speak, begging him to go into hiding or just ignore it. She couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a way he could get out of it. Ranger sat up and pulled her with him so that she was still wrapped in his arms but leaning against the headboard, her head resting on his shoulder. He sighed heavily and shook his head. He wasn't given any details about the mission, just instructions on departure and plans. His caller had only said three sentences and in those three sentences, Ranger had lost his pulse._

"_**Soldier **__**24739087, you are to report to Base Anderson at 1600 hours. All clothing and personals will be provided for you. Tie up all lose ends at home and leave nothing unattended, Soldier."**_

_Stephanie sat up in bed, still naked and wrapped in a sheet as she watched Ranger dress. He put on his usual SWAT attire and began to tie his hair back. Halfway through the process, she watched his shoulders tense up and he brought his hands down. They would be buzzing his head and for him to bother with the complicated leather tie would just be unnecessary. Once he was finished adjusting the laces on his boots, he sat on the edge of the bed and turned to look at his Babe._

"_Your job is always here and this apartment is just as much yours as it is mine. Don't forg-_

"_Don't forget to take my gun out of the cookie jar and call anyone the second I need help. Tank is always available and of course Ella. I love you too, and I'll be careful." He felt his heart flip flop as Stephanie recited his speech, the same speech he had given her every time he had to leave before. The fact that she memorized it was sickening. He placed a soft kiss to her forehead, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck. He pulled away and sighed softly while staring into her eyes. _

"_Babe. I know you're strong and you are fiercely independent, but you have to make a few promises to me."_

"_Anything."_

"_If for some reason…if…I…" He cleared his throat and kissed her forehead again, hiding the emotions that begged to betray his voice, pushing the lump back down his throat. His arms wrapped around her and he rested his cheek against her temple, feeling her hands grasp at him as she inhaled his scent. "If I don't come home, you need to keep going. You have to move on and keep going and make a life for yourself. Don't think you owe me anything. Take care of yourself and keep going." By the end of his sentence, Stephanie was shaking in his arms from her tears. He felt them drip down his neck and pool in the crevice where his trap protruded from his shoulder. He only held her tighter. "That's __**if**__, Babe." She sniffed and shook her head, looking up to stare at him while willing herself to be strong, for Ranger._

"_Then if __**if**__ happens, I'll still see you. After." He knew that she meant in heaven and the sentiment stung at his heart. Comparing his afterlife to hers was like trying to say that Stalin and Mother Theresa would see each other after death. Her heart was so pure and untainted. She was the only person he knew that had the capacity to love him without condition, despite every flaw he had allowed her to see. He brought his lips to hers and whispered against them._

"_Babe, I'm going to be heading deep south and I have a feeling you're going up north." Her arms moved to around his neck and she kissed him feverishly, holding on for dear life in their final moments together. _

"_Don't say that. I love you."_

"_I love you too, Babe. It'll be ok."_

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"Alright. Now where the fuck is he?" Hector glared at Wolf, still standing in front of a lifeless Bobby, the hot gun in his grasp. His broken English was said with such a thick accent that Wolf had to pause and pick apart each word and decipher the question. After a few moments, Wolf grinned again, the blood framing his teeth, and nodded towards Bobby on the floor.

"Are you sure he's dead? Maybe shoot 'im one more time, for good measa'." Every one of the Rangemen tensed at his words and felt their blood boil at the crude innuendo towards their fallen friend, but Ranger was the only one to act. His hand went to the waistband of his cargos and he fingered the semi-automatic pressed against back. He jumped when he felt a strong hand clamp around his wrist and pry his fingers from the gun. Ranger craned his neck around to see Tank behind him.

"That's enough, _Boss_." Tank moved his hand from Ranger's wrist to the back of his neck. Although he had amazing balance, Ranger had no defense as Tank pulled him back so that there was a wall of Rangemen between him and Wolf. The expressions on the faces of his men told Ranger exactly what Tank had meant. They would no longer take orders from him. His muscles clenched and his jaw tightened. The thought of his men overthrowing their commander in such a sensitive situation enraged him. How could they choose now, when his son's life was on the line, to fuck around with him? In actuality, his men were more fit for the position given the circumstances. Hector, as always, had a look in his eye that made most men shit in their pants, but still had a blank face just as the rest of the Rangemen. Lester, however, was not quite so composed but betrayed. The hurt on his face was undeniable. He couldn't believe that Ricardo Carlos Manoso would ever get his men into a position, or let events escalade to the point that one of his men needed to be sacrificed. Especially Bobby. Every one of the Rangemen staring back at him had lost all faith in the man that had built an unstoppable empire. Apparently all it took to bring down the Great Manoso was a little emotion mixed in with memory loss. Ranger, in their eyes, was at complete fault for the death of Bobby and his inability to perform at his highest capabilities deemed him useless and ultimately cost him the respect of his men.

Ranger studied the faces of his men silently and saw no evidence that they would stand under his name anymore for this mission. Tank had finally decided to call it quits once the men realized that Ranger was turning into a threat against Mateo. Each time he allowed his emotions to fog his brain, Mateo would be one step farther away. Hector was the first to turn away and reached into his pocket while approaching Wolf, leaning back against the wall. With a final glare, the men turned and followed Hector's steps. His hand reappeared from his pocket and inside was a glinting piece of metal. Not until he turned it over in his hand a few times did Ranger see that it was a cigar cutter. He would never allow his men to use such vile tactics but he was clearly no longer in control.

Hector stood three feet from Stephen Wolf and took one of his hands in his. With a quick snap, the blade of the cigar cutter crunched through the bone in Wolf's right thumb. It fell to the ground with a thump and Wolf let out a howl, blood sputtering through his teeth and running down his arm.

"Where is the boy?" He spoke again through his heavy accent, this time speaking slowly so every word was annunciated properly.

"Jesus fucking Christ. You cut off my fucking thumb! Mother of God." He cleared his throat and controlled his breathing, a weak attempt, but managed to avoid another finger being claimed by Hector's blade. "Motel 6. Off the Parkway. Room 118." With a silent exchange between the Rangemen, the men moved out and Wolf slumped to the ground with a single shot to the forehead.

The men paired off just as before except now only Tank and Ranger were in the F450, Hector taking a seat in the Denali. The cavalry pulled off of Stephen Wolf's property and headed down the parkway. Each of the black vehicles drove in a straight line going 90 mph, weaving in and out of traffic. Tank drove while Ranger sat in the passenger seat, silent and blank faced. Even though it was unnoticed, Ranger caught a glance at the man next to him and he was actually shocked at Tank's expression. Tank was clearly battling something inside of him and occasionally he 

would open his mouth to speak but then shake his head and keep his eyes peeled on the road. Finally Ranger got fed up with his insubordinate employee and shook his head, spitting resentful words at his partner.

"Something on your mind, Tank?" That opened the flood gate.

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you? What the fuck were you thinking? You let Brown sacrifice himself without first knowing the exact location of Mateo? Are you fucking nuts? You lost it. You completely lost it in there and now Brown is dead because you couldn't handle the situation properly. You are something else, man. What the fuck is wrong with you? You've handled missions that jeopardize the safety of entire countries and you can't keep your goddamn head straight with some low life who would have given up his information after a few more punches?" Tank just shook his head and gripped the steering wheel tighter, pressing down harder on the gas pedal beneath his size 14 CAT boot. He sighed heavily and looked over at Ranger for a second, who was staring straight ahead and completely blank faced but thoroughly shocked. He had never been told off before by one of his employees, even Tank. Tank cleared his throat and stared back at the road.

"I know you've been having problems. We all know about the memory loss, and we know about the stress and depression. You need to see someone. We all have. If this doesn't prove it for you then I don't know what will. Look, the guys will forgive you, I forgive you. Santos will take a little longer but he'll forgive you. You just can't let this go on, man." Ranger nodded once before bringing his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes in soft circles to try and ease some of the strain. He had never felt more guilty in his entire life and it was physically demanding. He had single handedly gotten his son taken and one of his friends killed, all in a matter of 12 hours. Tank cleared his throat once more and spoke, quieter this time.

"You're not in charge anymore for this one. For Mateo. You're not on this one. You should probably call Steph and let her know we're on our way to get him." Ranger shook his head and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out the window to his right.

"No. I can't call her until we have him. She'll worry even more." Tank just nodded as his boss clearly ended the conversation.

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"_Manoso, man, you gotta help me. Please. Just shoot me." Ranger heard sputtered sobs break out from a shadow at his feet, each word said between gasps of breath and blood filled gargles. He stared down at a mangled soldier under his command. His olive drab was dyed red, drenched in a blanket of blood that started at the base of his neck and covered him completely to the tip of his combat boot. It pooled around him, creating a lopsided puddle around his entire body, deepest at the base of his severed limbs where the soldier was slowly bleeding to death. He had lost both forearms and one leg, the steady work of a grenade, and barely had enough skin left on his face to cover his cheeks. Ranger battled with himself for no more than thirty seconds before raising his M240 and skillfully firing a fatal shot into the soldier at his feet. _

_He pressed on through the thick jungle, leaping over fallen trees and dead bodies. Each step was planned and intentional, land mines and undetonated bombs lay only inches from where his feet fell. The crunch of the underbrush beneath his CATs rang silent in comparison to the thundering blasts of shots fired and bombs ignited. In a trance, Ranger moved farther into the dense forest concentrating on the sound of his own ragged breathing. He stayed low beneath the clouds of debris, only able to see two feet ahead of him. The sound of his breath filled his ears until a piercing cry broke through the thick atmosphere. It was from a woman, he could tell that. It wasn't so much of a cry but more of a shriek. A blood curdling, spine tingling, ear splitting shriek that swam through the air and took his full attention. It sounded like someone was being brutally murdered and it called out to him. The screams filled the air, coming from every direction and only by some invisible force was Ranger able to choose a direction to run in. After running for what seemed like days, Ranger found where the screams came from. _

_Stephanie lay on the ground, discarded body parts littering the dirt around her while she rested in a pool of blood. Her skin was dripping with her blood, only her face was without it. Even though she was literally sweating blood _

_from every pore, the breathtaking silk wedding gown she wore was perfectly clean, its shade of eggshell completely untouched. It was just a plain silk dress, sweetheart neckline and thin spaghetti straps that made her impossibly elegant shoulders even more perfect. It hugged every one of her curves and only stopped to flare slightly around her ankles. Ranger couldn't understand how the dress, clearly a wedding dress, didn't absorb any blood when Stephanie was completely covered in it. He took his eyes off of the dress to look at her face. Her mouth was still open as if she was screaming yet no sound came from her lips. Even her curls were drenched in blood, plastered down on her head as if she had just gotten out of the shower. Her piercing blue eyes were more intense than any of her screams as they shot through him like a sword. He knelt down beside her and moved to take off his gloves. After removing them, he slowly went to touch her skin before the screams erupted again. He sat back on his heels and stared back at her, confused. She spoke finally, but the screams still sounded and her mouth remained in the open-mouthed gape._

"_Don't touch me! I saw what you did to him. I watched you kill all those people. Don't touch me!"_

_Ranger's face crumpled in pain. Every word that came out of her mouth seemed to be punching him in the chest, throwing off his heartbeat and making him feel short of breath._

"_Babe, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."_

_She wouldn't stop screaming and soon her screams turned into sobs as she thrashed in pain on the blood soaked dirt beneath her._

"_Help me, Carlos! Please!"_

_He moved to touch her again, to try and find where her wounds were but just as he was about to make contact with her blood drenched skin, she screamed again. _

"_Don't touch me! I saw what you did to him. I watched you kill all those people. Don't touch me!"_

_Ranger looked stunned and shook his head, his shoulders sagging._

"_Babe, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Babe. I love you. Please let me help you. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."_

"_Don't touch me! You're a killer!" Just as before, every word that she spoke was a new knife wound in his lungs and before he knew it he felt as if he was suffocating, like a fish out of water. He held his throat in both hands and gasped for breath. The pain only got worse and he began to feel lightheaded. Through his gasps he heard screams again, though they weren't from Steph. He turned to look behind him and saw Mateo laying in a pool of blood, his skin covered just as his mother's. He was wearing his Batman sleeper and it too, was completely clean and untouched. Only his skin was covered in blood. His hair was matted on his forehead, the same blood covering his hair and slowly dripping down from his hair and onto his face._

"_Daddy! __Ayudarme, por favor papá." (Help me, please Daddy.)_

_Ranger pivoted himself on his knees and knelt beside Mateo, looking over his body as he thrashed in pain over the ground, the dirt and dust absorbing his blood like a sponge. Ranger reached out to touch Mateo's shaky hand._

"_No, Daddy! Please don't hurt me!"_

"_Nunca te lastimaré, Mateo." (I will never hurt you)_

"_Daddy, you kill so many people! Please don't hurt me! Don't touch me, Daddy." Ranger's face twisted in horror at his little boy's words. They thought he was going to hurt them? Ranger stared down at his own clothes and realized that they were covered in blood, handprints left as if someone had wiped their hands clean on the front of his uniform. He looked down at his trembling hands and saw what looked like stains from blood. Ranger shook his head slowly._

"_No, Mateo. I won't hurt you."_

"_Si, Daddy. You kill so many people."_

"_Don't hurt him, Carlos. Please, don't hurt my baby."_

_Ranger turned back again to see Steph, still writhing in pain in a pool of her own blood. Her dress was still clean and her face was slowly covered in blood, dripping down her hairline and onto her face like Mateo. After seconds she was completely immersed in the red liquid, all except her dress, and she lay lifeless on the jungle floor. Ranger snapped his head back to look at Mateo, and he too was in the same state as his mother. Completely covered in blood and dead. They both lay dead but suddenly, the screams started again. Then black._

_Ranger shot up in bed next to Steph, so quickly that he felt lightheaded from the dramatic change in his blood pressure. His heart was racing and his bare, muscled chest heaved with each labored breath. His hair was plastered to his forehead, dripping sweat down onto his face and his brow. His entire bare torso glistened with a layer of sweat. Ranger felt the bed move and looked next to him to see Steph sitting up, concern written all over her face as she placed a hand on his shoulder, the other going to caress the side of his face and study his eyes._

"_Are you ok?" She whispered softly into the air, running her fingers through his hair from his hairline back so that the drenched locks were off of his face. He just nodded, still inhaling as if he had been holding his breath for days on end._

"_Is it the same dream as before?" She was still trying to read his eyes as she gently wiped the beads of sweat from his eyelashes. Again, he just nodded and tried to return his breathing to normal. No matter how hard he tried, the pain in his chest was still just as intense._

"_Carlos, you really need to talk to someone about this. I know you don't want to but you've woken up this way every night since you've been home. It's been a month. Every single night I've watched you do this and it isn't healthy. You need to talk to someone. It'll help with everything." That 'everything' was loaded. The memory loss, the throbbing pain he would get in his legs even though he wasn't injured severely, the headaches, the dreams, the depressions. Ranger shook his head and finally got his breathing under control._

"_No, Babe. I'm fine. It'll all go away." She sighed softly and nodded then kissed his soft lips. He eased the tension in his muscles and lay back, opening his arms for Steph. She willingly complied and nuzzled into his embrace, resting her cheek on his bicep as she watched his eyes flutter shut, though she knew he wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night in fear of the dream claiming his consciousness. _

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As the Rangeman fleet came up on the Motel 6, just where Wolf said it would be, the men saw that they were not the first to arrive on the scene. Dozens of squad cars littered the premises as well as CSI's and investigators. Over the radio device that was hooked up to each of the Rangeman vehicles, Tank and Ranger heard Cal, the first driver to pull in.

"What the-. Looks like we aren't the first ones here." No one responded as they parked and jumped out. The men in black were all greeted by a female officer who seemed to have recognized the men. Tank stepped forward, the designated new leader, and addressed her.

"What's going on?"

"Are you Rangeman?"

"Yes."

"I was told to wait for you. Is there a Carlos Manoso?" Ranger stepped forward.

"Yes."

"Your son was found here by a maid after a man named Stephen Wolf called the front desk. He told them that there was a Mateo in room 118 who was kidnapped. The maid called the police right away."

"What time was this?"

"The call came in about two hours ago." Ranger looked down at his watch. Two hours ago the men were on their way to Wolf's property. Wolf had given Mateo back before they even got to his home. Ranger suddenly felt nauseous and had to look at the ground to keep his composure. He was sick at the thought that someone had pulled a complete mind game on him and ultimately won. The officer dismissed herself and left the men to be. Each one of the Rangemen began pacing back and forth as they took in the information, a few of them cursing under their breath in various languages. Tank was the first to speak.

"How did this happen?" Ranger shook his head and pulled out his cell phone to call Stephanie. He flipped it open with a flick of his wrist and saw the flashing light to signal a voicemail. He called into his mailbox and waited to hear the message.

"_Carlos, they found Mateo. He's on his way here."_

Ranger's entire body went numb at the sound of her voice, and he felt his stomach muscles clench as the vomit crept up his throat.

**A few people I've had edit this for me were angry with me for this chapter lol. They said that it was very anticlimactic. I never really intended for this to be the greatest murder mystery. For me, this story was more about the struggles of Ranger and his coping and internal battles. I think I've focused more on that than anything else and I'm sorry if I've disappointed any of you because of it. That's just the way I wanted the story in the first place and it's going to stay that way. Thank you so much for reading my crapolla piece of work and please remember to review! **


	8. Chapter 8

_This is kind of boring, I think. But it's a filler for what's to come!_

Stephanie sat up in bed to silence her alarm. _5:30. I deserve a donut today. I skipped it yesterday. Yeah, a Boston Cream before my run. _She stretched out her arms in front of her, smiling softly to herself at the sight of her engagement ring on her finger. _One more month and I am no longer Stephanie Plum. Nope. I'm going to be Stephanie Manoso. Mrs. Ricardo Carlos Manoso. Damn skippy. _Her heart fluttered and skipped a beat. She loved the way it sounded. His steady breathing drew her attention and the smile continued as she watched him sleep. He seemed to peaceful and content. The only time he was peaceful and content was when he was sleeping, or so it appeared. It had been two weeks since Mateo's kidnapping and every single one of those fourteen days had been hell. Ranger was a completely different man. He had agreed to see a therapist to try and work out some of his problems but the more he went, the more guarded he came home. He was no longer the Carlos she fell in love with but someone entirely different, and Stephanie was in mourning for the man she lost.

Despite his changes, Stephanie couldn't help but still be madly in love with him. Every waking day she breathed for him and she didn't know any other way. His pupils danced behind the thin skin of his eyelids and his lashes fluttered with his dreams. He was no doubt reliving a horrific event from his past and soon enough he would break out in a cold sweat. Her heart clenched at the thought so she chose to wake him before it got too bad. She raised a hand to gently move his silky hair from his face and studied him for a moment.

His internal body clock seemed to have been left behind on his mission and every morning she pulled him out of a deep slumber. They had switched roles almost completely. Stephanie got up every morning to run at 5:30. Just like Ranger had experienced with Steph, it was pulling teeth trying to get him out of bed to come with her. With each breaking dawn, facing reality seemed to be harder and harder for Ranger.

Steph placed a slender hand on either side of his broad, tired shoulders and positioned herself so that she was straddling his waist without making contact with his body. 'Always be aware of your surroundings, Babe.' Well it looked like Rambo didn't like to follow his own directions. She hovered over him, her wild curls falling to one side of her neck and grazing his chest softly, the ends barely making contact with his café latte skin. Slowly, Steph lowered herself and brushed her lips across his, lightly tracing the outline of his full mouth with her tongue. He seemed to stir at that, only barely, so she continued to kiss him. Softly, at first, then more assertively at his lack of a response. After a moment, Stephanie found herself looking into Ranger's eyes, empty and blank. The stress lines framing them had gotten deeper with the days and seemed to multiply. She sat up and smiled tenderly down at him, her hair framing her face in dark contrast to her alabaster skin. He stared up at her with a tight jaw and raised a brow in question.

"It's time to get up." She couldn't allow him to see the pain, the throbbing pressure slowly building with each hurtful comment and every resentful mood, so she kept her smile on. Every time he blinked, his eyes seemed to grow more and more hostile and vacant. The hollows under them nearly matched the color of his pupils as did the beginnings of a beard he had neglected to shave the day before. At her words, Ranger exhaled slowly through his nose and closed his eyes again in an attempt to return to his sleeping state. Stephanie leaned forward again and kissed the tip of his nose gently with the smile still on her lips. "It's time to get up, Carlos." She whispered this time, hoping to keep the mood light this morning. Two strong hands gripped Steph's sides, causing her to jump slightly. Without opening his eyes, Ranger deposited Stephanie beside him on the bed then lazily dragged his palms down his face.

"I heard you the first time." His voice was gruff and impersonal, like he had saved it for an altercation with a skip, not his fiancé, the woman he so casually called the love of his life. The words cut through her like a knife and this time she couldn't hold it back. Her smile dropped, the healthy glow of her skin replaced by a layer of tears over her sapphire eyes. It took everything she had in her to keep from letting the tears spill. Ranger shifted, then stiffly sat up and stood without taking so much as a glance at Stephanie. He walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Just as she heard the click of the lock, Steph couldn't help the tears. Every day he was worse. There was only so much her heart could take. Had she not loved him with every fiber of her being, his actions wouldn't affect her so. She had spent countless hours deciding if staying with him was what was best for Mateo. Should she move in with her parents or just move to an apartment on the 4th floor? What if that would only make him worse? The sound of the shower running let her know she was in the clear and she let the tears flow. Mateo wouldn't be awake for two more hours so she quickly dressed herself in black Rangeman embroidered sweatpants and a matching v-neck Spandex tank top, also sporting Ranger's brand. She laced up the black Nike running shoes and sighed as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. _I look like SWAT Barbie. I look like fucking SWAT Barbie. _She glared back at herself in the mirror and sighed softly. In his absence, Steph had absentmindedly purged her closet of most garments that weren't black. It was a weak attempt to keep some of Ranger with her while he was off saving the world. Had it not been for Mateo, Stephanie probably would have resorted to cardboard cutouts of Ranger stationed strategically around the apartment. But looking into her son's eyes everyday was enough to keep her grounded, like Ranger had left a piece of himself behind for her. She left, forgetting her donut.

The pounding of her own steady stride on the treadmill kept her focused as her mind raced. _Maybe if I lost some weight he wouldn't resent me. I should probably keep Mateo out of his office more. He hates it when he gets something sticky on the desk. Why won't he talk to me? _She had a nasty habit of finding ways to make herself responsible for what Ranger was going through. It hurt her to think that she couldn't help him. After he had practically made a career out of saving her ass, there was nothing she could do to help the man she loved and it killed her.

"I know what you're thinking, Bombshell. Stop it." Tank's booming voice broke her trance as his feet pounded away on the treadmill beside her. _Play dumb._

"What are you talking about?" _Shit. I can't fool Tank._

"You have that look on your face. Like you always do when you're thinking about him. It's not your fault. So stop it." _Damn ESP._ Steph nodded and pressed the up arrow on the control panel in front of her, kicking up the speed a few paces. _Maybe if I can run faster…_

"I said stop it!" _Ok, yeesh._ She opened her stride comfortably and watched Tank as he ran. With the length of his legs, his stride was about as long as the treadmill itself.

"How long did it take you?" He knew what she was referring to and there was no need to elaborate.

"About three months. But he has much heavier shit on his conscience. I only had to get over a few of the symptoms of PTSD. He has to come over all of them _plus_ the guilt he's carrying around."

Steph finished off her 5th mile at 7:15 and stepped off, patting Tank on the back on her way out of the gym. Her heart sagged as she thought about another confrontation she could have while passing Ranger in the apartment. _Is it normal to dread seeing your fiancé even though you love him more than life itself? _She couldn't help her thoughts while she waited for the elevator.

"No." Lester snorted behind her as they both stepped onto the pulley. _Shit. Did I say that out loud?_

"You didn't need to." _Damn ESP. _She nodded and watched as he pressed the buttons for floors 4 and 7.

"Thanks."

"Sure, Beautiful." Stephanie's lips twitched into a smile that quickly dropped as the words hit home.

"Bobby used to call me that." Her words were no more than a whisper but were enough to hitch Lester's breathing. Like the cool Rangeman he was, he quickly recovered and kissed the top of her sweaty hair.

"He never lied." Lester whispered as well, Steph guessed to hide any unwanted emotion that might creep up his throat. Ever since the 'stray bullet', Lester had been the poster child for denial. Not once had any of the men seen him react to the death of his partner, though he had lost most of his playfulness except around Steph and Mateo. None of the Rangemen were the same after that night, especially when their ever-tense boss was on the floor.

"Mateo will be up soon. Do you want to come up for breakfast?" She saw a slight glimmer of joy flash over his features before another look of hesitation. "He'll be gone by the time you change and come up." The hesitation was replaced by relief and he nodded, kissing her once more atop her curls before stepping out as the elevator doors opened.

"I'll be up as soon as I change." She nodded, smiled, and watched his pained gaze as the doors shut between them.

Steph slipped her key fob into the multiple locks on the door to their apartment and entered silently. She had picked up that little trick once she found out that Mateo had a knack for waking up just as she walked through the door. Toeing off her sneakers, she padded into their bedroom. Ranger was sitting on the bed wearing only black combats and his laced CAT boots. Her entrance earned her a nod in acknowledgement as he pressed some buttons on a handheld device, checking his schedule for the day. Steph was used to the lack of communication and interaction and wasn't fazed. She stood at the foot of the bed and began to undress. She pulled her tank over her head then began to unbutton her pants. She was lost in her own thoughts and too far gone in her own mind to notice that Ranger had stood and come behind her, gripping her hips and pulling her back to his front. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and slowly kissed the side of her neck, savoring the taste of her warm, flawless skin. Stephanie froze, her hand still holding her waist band, and stood patiently while he held her close to him and kissed his way from her collarbone to her ear. _Please stop. Please, just stop. I can't handle this today._

Ranger noticed her tense muscles beneath his grasp but kept kissing her anyway, unable to feel satisfied by the amount of contact they had. Every kiss stung as if he was mocking her. Hadn't he just practically thrown her off of him only an hour or so ago? Hadn't they fought the night before to the point where Stephanie had thought about sleeping on the couch? She waited until finally he let go of her. _That's it? No 'I'm sorry'?_ She shook her head softly and continued to disrobe.

Ranger sighed silently and rolled his head on his shoulders, taking a step back from her and walking into their closet to get a shirt for the day. _I can't even touch her right anymore. If we didn't have Mateo she would have been long gone by now. There's no way she could stand me otherwise. What time is my appointment today? 8:30. Fuck._

"Babe, Dr. Reed wants you to come in with me today. I spoke to Ella and the guys are going to take Mateo out to breakfast and keep him on the floor for the morning." He shouted out to her from the 

closet, settling on a black painted on Rangeman tee shirt. Shocker. Stephanie was in the process of putting her clothes in the hamper as he spoke and froze mid-stride. _What!?_

"Ok. What time?" _Shit. A shrink? The last thing I need right now is for someone to tell me how horrible I am for him. She's just going to tell me what I know already. It's my fault. _She waited patiently for his answer, half expecting him to forget they were even engaged in conversation like so many times before.

"8:30." She just sighed and moved to get in the shower. She showered quickly, did the hair and makeup thing, adding 3 coats of mascara, and chose to wear a black pencil skirt she had ordered from a Victoria's Secret catalogue and a lavender satin blouse. The perfect pair of black patent FMP's pulled it all together. She stepped out of the closet and walked into the living room where Ranger was waiting. He was once again looking down at some handheld electronic and just headed towards the door once hearing her enter.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Thank you for coming in today, Stephanie." Dr. Reed smiled warmly at Steph and then turned her attention to Ranger.

"Ricardo I have mentioned it before that an important part of your recovery is a supportive life at home. Do you think you have that?" Ranger sat stiffly in a leather chair beside Steph, elbows resting on the arms of the chair with his long fingers tapping restlessly on the leather. He nodded twice. Dr. Reed knew she wouldn't get more out of him so she directed her attention to Steph while scribbling down some notes on a pad.

"Stephanie, do you feel Ricardo's recovery is coming along well?" _Is she serious? _Stephanie adjusted in her seat, recrossing her legs as one was falling asleep. How was she supposed to answer that? The truth, right?

"If you are talking about since he's been in therapy, I haven't noticed a difference." Dr. Reed simply nodded and wrote on her pad, seemingly unaffected by her answer. She looked back up at Steph.

"How has your sex life been?" Stephanie raised a brow a fraction of an inch and caught Ranger adjusting his seat out of the corner of her eye. _Is she kidding? Honesty. Be honest._

"Different." _Whew. That was a close one._ Dr. Reed nodded and wrote on her notepad again.

"How was it before?"

"Passionate. Wonderful."

"How has it been different? Do you not make love anymore?"

"No, we don't." Ranger raised a brow and looked over at Steph.

"So then what was the other night? And the night before that?" His eyes rested on Steph, waiting for her to answer. The anger caught up to her faster than she could keep it under control and Stephanie suddenly forgot Dr. Reed was in the room. She snapped her head to the left and glared at him.

"No, Carlos. We do not make love. We have sex, okay. Intercourse, bump and grind, do the deed. Whatever it is we do, we do not make love." Tears started to well at her lash line and she had to look away to keep her cool. Breathing deeply, she slowly calmed herself down enough to notice Dr. Reed 

writing frantically on her pad. Ranger, out of the corner of her eye, had on his blank face and just stared at Dr. Reed.

"Well, Stephanie why do you feel that your interactions do not constitute as making love?" _Jeeze. I must be a therapists' dream._ Stephanie sighed and recrossed her legs again. Ranger watched her out of the corner of his eye and waited for her answer, almost as impatiently as Dr. Reed who was leaning forward attentively. Steph cleared her throat and shrugged nervously.

"It's impersonal." Her voice was small, a whisper, as if she was embarrassed by her feelings. Ranger once again raised a brow and challenged her, though his voice was quiet and passive.

"I don't understand how sex can be impersonal." Dr. Reed was writing feverously on her pad and nodding slowly, allowing the couple to continue. Steph shrugged and stared down at her hands in her lap, afraid to meet Ranger's eyes. _Because he doesn't love me and I make him depressed._

"You don't even look at me. I might as well be a blow up doll underneath you. How could it possibly be personal for me if my fiancé can't look at my face?" Her voice had gotten so soft that Ranger found himself leaning closer to her to catch the last part of her sentence. As he registered it, the blank face came back on. He sat back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest, reverting to the safety of his intimidation stance. _Oh, Babe. My Babe. What did I do to her? _Dr. Reed's eyebrows almost rose past her hairline.

"He doesn't look at you?" Steph shook her head no, still looking down at her hands in her lap, turning her engagement ring around her finger, slipping it past her knuckle then pushing it back down a few times. Dr. Reed pressed on, despite the clearly uncomfortable pair in front of her.

"Why do you think he doesn't look at you?" _Will you just drop it? He hates me, okay? I'm disgusting to him, obviously. _Steph sighed and stared blankly at the woman, answering her in a flat, matter-of-fact tone.

"He doesn't find me attractive. I'm just a warm body." Ranger's blank face broke and he winced. _She thinks I don't find her attractive? Oh if she only knew. _Dr. Reed focused on Steph and ignored Ranger.

"Why do you continue to sleep together if you aren't happy with the current situation?" _Why don't you go shove that notebook up your ass? Honesty, be honest. It's for Carlos._ Steph shrugged and shook her head, looking up at Dr. Reed with teary eyes and a lump in her throat the size of a softball.

"I-I guess it helps him, to get out some frustration?" Dr. Reed wrote on her pad again. "Can you stop that? This isn't an interview." Steph had tears running down her cheeks and the pad seemed to be mocking every single one.

"Of course. Now, Stephanie, you allow him to use your body as an outlet for his feelings?" Stephanie nodded once than looked away, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. Ranger couldn't have looked more shocked than if Steph told him she was a man. Dr. Reed cleared her throat and raised a brow at Ranger.

"Ricardo, what do you think about what Stephanie has said? Why can't you look at Stephanie?"

_I know there are a lot of unanswered questions. Don't worry, everything will be answered and developed soon enough. We haven't even touched on Ranger's thoughts yet! Until next time…___


	9. Chapter 9

Ranger's heart raced. Coming to terms with his emotions wasn't high on his list of things to do, especially in front of Stephanie. _What do I think? Por qué no miro a Stephanie? Si ella sabía solamente._ He tapped his fingers restlessly on the leather chair, debating whether or not he should answer the question. Should he tell them? Should Stephanie know why he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye? Ranger looked over at Stephanie, watching her wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her ring glimmered under the harsh lights in Dr. Reed's office. His heart sank at the thought that the ring could possibly come off before their wedding day if he didn't get his act together. _Please don't leave me, Babe. Please. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. But I don't know how you could stand me. Just leave me. Leave, for yourself Babe. Please, just leave me._

"Ricardo? What do you think about what Stephanie has said? Why can't you look at Stephanie?" Ranger's head snapped back about face at Dr. Reed's words. _I'm not deaf. I fucking heard you, lady. _He sighed and folded his bulky arms across his chest, looking back over at Stephanie. She was looking everywhere else but in his direction, clearly more afraid of his answer than he was. She sniffled, stifling her tears with a few hiccups while still trying to dry her face. Ranger rubbed his eyes slowly then folded his arms again. _Just say it Manoso. _

"I can't..I…I can't look at her." He had pulled out every last bit of strength left in his tired body to say those words. Admitting his feelings was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He owed Stephanie as much as an explanation at least and used all of his will power to remain seated and not run to his car.

"Why can't you look at her?" Dr. Reed shifted in her seat and leaned forward, resting her forearms on the knee of her crossed leg. _Madre de dios. Si esta mujer habla una más vez que voy a matarla._ The air thickened and Ranger cleared his throat, trying to force out his words. Just as he tried to speak, Stephanie had turned to look at him. She stared at him, fighting for his eyes as she searched his expression frantically. _Just say it, just say it Carlos. _Ranger grimaced and looked away. Stephanie had had enough. Before she knew what was happening, she was standing in front of Ranger's chair with her hands on her hips, all fired up with Italian rage and the fury of a woman scorned.

"Fuckin' a, Carlos. Why can't you look at me? Answer the question! It's the least you can do! Why can't you look at me?" She had started to cry again and the tears poured out. _I know it's my fault! Just please! Tell me. Just tell me why. _Ranger was caught off guard by the volume at which she spoke but it seemed to spark something inside of him. With his feet planted firmly on the floor, Ranger gripped the arms of the chair tightly and shook his head, fighting every instinct he had that told him to run out the door.

"I..it's the way you look at me! I can't look at you when you look at me that way. I can't escape it. I just…the way you look at me, Stephanie, I can't take it." Stephanie's eyebrows nearly shot up past her hairline. Not only had he just raised his voice at her for the first time in weeks, but he was making absolutely no sense.

"What the hell are you talking about? Like what? _How_ do I _look_ at you?"

"Like that! Just like you are now. I can't take it. You look at me like that and I just can't." Ranger's voice had started out just as elevated as Steph's but graduated down to a whisper by his final word. He clamped his eyes shut and shook his head, releasing his hair from the leather tie and running his fingers through it. Stephanie looked as if he had just slapped her in the face, confused and hurt as hell.

"And what exactly does that look like?" She whispered and wiped away the moisture running down her face. _God, please just spit it out. _Ranger pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing his eyes shut still.

"Like I'm the only man in the world. You look at me and you look like I'm the only thing keeping you alive. You look at me at it's like…I just…it's like you love me more than anything." Stephanie felt faint. What was he saying? Dr. Reed ignored Stephanie's request and was frantically scrawling notes over the pad, going through at least three pages during their fight.

"Well of course I look at you that way. You are the only man in my world and you are the only thing keeping me alive. I love you more than anything." _You already know I would die for you. God, Carlos please just hold me. Please. Stand up. Hold me. _His statements had seemed so ridiculous to her. How else was she supposed to look at him?

"There is no reason for you to love me. So get over it and move on." _I don't want you to move on, Babe. But I don't deserve you and I don't deserve to be loved._ It was all too much for her. She turned on her heel and plopped down in the big leather chair, utterly exhausted and confused. Both of them stared down at their hands in their lap, Stephanie spinning her ring and Ranger counting the scars on his knuckles. Dr. Reed was on her 5th page of notes before she let out an exasperated sigh. Turning to the phone at her side, she pressed and held the red CALL button.

"Jonathan, cancel my appointments for the rest of the afternoon." She cleared her throat and put the pad and pen down on the table.

"Now. Ricardo, why shouldn't Stephanie love you? From what you've told me, you had an amazing relationship and you were extremely close." Ranger looked up briefly then back at his knuckles. _Where should we start? At the part where I got our son kidnapped or the part where I got his uncle killed for no reason? _

"There's nothing about me to love." _Jesus. I'm such a little girl I can't even speak without whispering. _

"How can you say that, Carlos? I loved you within the first month of knowing you, whether I admitted it or not. There is nothing about you that I don't love." Stephanie's eyes screamed at him, calling out to him for some release. She needed to relieve the pain in her chest that weighed down her entire body, a ten pound weight seemingly added on with each negative comment. _Please don't whisper like that at me, Steph. You know I can't stand it when you cry. Don't love me. No puedes amarme. _Ranger couldn't bring himself to look away but the pain written all over her face was killing him. _I'm killing her. _The space between their chairs was only about two feet, and Steph was fighting the urge to leap over the opening and crawl into his lap, rest her head on his hard, perfectly sculpted chest and breathe in his heady scent. But she had never felt farther from him than in that moment, not even when he was hundreds of miles away in dense jungle.

"Ricardo, why do you feel that you cannot be loved?" The couple broke their eye contact and looked at Dr. Reed, unintentionally glaring at her. She seemed unfazed and watched Carlos intently. He raised his brow a fraction of an inch, the action only perceptible to Steph. _Maybe if I just tell her the bitch will get off my back. _He sighed and dragged his hands down his face slowly before gripping the arms of the big leather chair again.

"I got our son kidnapped. Because I have my own problems, our son was taken right out from under my nose. He could have been killed. Our baby was stolen because of me. Now, why the fuck would anyone have any reason to love me?" The harsh tone behind his words made it only sound worse and his self-loathing was once again too much for Stephanie. She tried to suppress it, but her shoulders shook gently with tears.

"But this was an accident, correct? You forgot to turn on his camera. We've discussed that your memory loss and forgetfulness is a symptom of your PTSD, something out of your control." Ranger shook his head slowly and closed his eyes. Yes, they discussed it. But how could he possibly justify allowing their son to be abducted because he forgot to protect him?

"What if while you were giving your baby a bath you _forgot_ to keep her face out of the water? Would it make it ok if you had a 'traumatic' experience?" His eyes flicked to a framed picture of a baby girl, sleeping in the arms of Dr. Reed alongside her husband.

"I understand where your guilt comes from but you need to get past it. You found him. He is safe now and you need to move on. Nothing else happened, no one else is hurt." At that, Ranger sucked in a breath and released it slowly.

"Tu culpabilidad sobre Bobby está apenas como malo. Ésa no era tu avería." _(Your guilt about Bobby is just as bad. That was not your fault.) _Stephanie sighed and wiped her nose with a tissue, looking down at her lap.

"Era absolutamente mi avería." _(It was absolutely my fault.) _

"Excuse me, but I can't understand what you are saying. Would you mind speaking English?" Ranger rolled his eyes and Steph nodded stiffly.

"I'm sorry. I was reassuring him that it was not his fault that Mateo was taken." _Good girl, Babe. Unless you want me arrested she can't know about Bobby. _

"Stephanie, when did you learn to speak Spanish? I understand you are Italian and Hungarian." Steph smiled as she thought about her answer and looked up at Dr. Reed, now gleaming as she spoke about her son.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Mateo. I went to tell Carlos' family and I realized that only his parents and siblings spoke English. Mateo needed to be able to speak to his entire family so I learned. And I taught him." Not only was Stephanie smiling while she thought about Mateo but Ranger was giving his almost smile while looking down at his lap.

"Ricardo, this obviously makes you happy. You must have loveable qualities for her to do that. You need to let go of this guilt that you have. Having to fight a war was clearly out of your control. Who you have hurt because of your military position is not by your choice, correct?" He nodded. "So you agree that your guilt from hurting people at war is not your fault." He hesitated but then nodded once. "And so therefore, your Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not your fault." Again, Ranger hesitated but nodded once. "If your PTSD is not your fault and is out of your control, then events resulting from PTSD symptoms could not be considered your burden." Ranger narrowed his eyes at that.

"Exactly." Stephanie sniffled. She had been trying to convince him of that for weeks.

"My son didn't ask for my PTSD or the 'events resulting from PTSD symptoms'." _And Bobby sure as hell didn't ask for me to lose my shit and get him shot. _Steph watched as his muscles tensed with afterthought. She knew what he had tacked on to the end and shook her head slowly.

"The same rules apply to that. No podrías controlar eso." _(You could not control that.) _Stephanie looked over at Ranger and fought to keep his eye contact.

"Exactamente. No podría controlarlo. I should have._ " (Exactly. I couldn't control it.)_ She sighed and shook her head while wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Obviously you two have things you would like to discuss without me so maybe we should pick this up next week? Your usual time, Ricardo? And Stephanie please come as well." He nodded and eagerly stood up out of the chair to leave the death chamber. Stephanie popped up almost as quickly and was hot on Ranger's heels as they left, the click of her 4" heels echoing through the halls of the building.

They walked in silence to the parking lot, moving to their respective sides on the black GL. Once the doors closed, Stephanie and Ranger let out a simultaneous sigh of relief. It was too much to confront every emotion all at once and Ranger was grateful that it was done for the day. _It's my fault. I did it. I've ruined us. We were so strong and I've ruined us._ He looked over at Steph briefly and noticed her shaky hands, trembling in her lap as she preoccupied herself with her manicure, checking over her fingers. _Carlos, please hold me. I can't do this. Don't let us fall apart. _

Without thinking twice, he reached over and took both hands in his, clasping his fingers around them securely and stopping the shaking. Stephanie looked up into his eyes, terrified that she would have to face more of their feelings. She was exhausted and was still trying to cope with the bitter self-resentment that Ranger fought every day. The tears had never stopped and the steady stream glistened in the bright sunlight. _Dios, Babe. What did I do to you? _He leaned over the console and kissed her softly, his lips barely hovering over hers as he inhaled her breath. It was the most tender and heartfelt contact they had had in weeks. She whimpered against his lips and leaned closer to him, desperate to feel his body heat. After a long moment he pulled away and released her hands. He reached up at moved a curl out of her face and twirled it around his finger.

"I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look today." He smiled softly and tucked the curl behind her ear then trailed his finger tip along her jaw line.

"I love you so much. Please stop hating yourself. I can't stand to watch you hate yourself like that when it wasn't your fault." She pleaded him with her eyes, forcing her eyes to stay dry. _Don't cry, Steph. Be strong for him. _He sighed, kissed her again, then started the car.

"We'll talk about this later. Or not. I don't know. But I'm not giving up on us, Babe."

"Neither am I."


	10. Chapter 10

**I'll try and give you guys a break somewhere in here. I missed Mateo, maybe I'll have him pop in to break up the seriousness. But I have to say, the reason why I want to jump in Ranger's pants is because he is so serious. So sexy and intense…Mmmm…yeah, so serious isn't always a bad thing. That's why my Batman is a Russian, right off the boat. Can't get any more serious than that ;) **

Stephanie watched Ranger slowly slip into his zone only ten minutes into the drive back to Haywood. Each of his muscles tensed and the line of his strong jaw tightened, and in that moment she knew he had left behind any progress made in the torture chamber of Dr. Linda Reed and she had lost him once again. _Don't hate yourself. How can you hate yourself when I love you so much? Your son worships the ground you walk on. How could you be so terrible if the very child you claim you endanger can't help but feel safest in the arms of his father? _The rest of the drive was silent and uncomfortable. Stephanie praised the heavens when they pulled into the parking garage. The uneasy tension was suffocating and Steph couldn't get out of the car fast enough. Before he even cut the engine, her feet were on the ground. The change in him had been so severe since they left the therapist that she wasn't quite sure who she was dealing with, Carlos or spiritless soldier 24739087.

The click of her heels echoed in the cement garage as she made her way to the elevator. Ranger was just as eager to escape the confines of the GL and closed up the distance between them with his long strides. They stepped on to the elevator. Stephanie pressed the button for the seventh floor and Ranger pressed the button for the third.

"There's a search on your desk that I need by five tonight. No later. I'm going to the gym." With that, she knew which one she was dealing with. He stared straight ahead at the silver doors of the elevator and stepped off as soon as they opened, leaving Stephanie by herself for the rest of the ride. She knew that if she cried or showed any emotion, whoever was on camera duty would show the tape to Ranger.

_Keep it together, Steph. Stay strong. Only two more floors. One. Here we are, don't give in. Breathe. _She coached herself back to calm and stepped off the elevator. _I had him. For a minute, I had him back. _With a sigh Steph opened the door to the apartment. She looked down in the foyer to see a pair of children's size 4 CAT boots alongside 4 matching pair, ranging in size from men's 11 to 14. She smiled softly. They remembered. She had replaced the white area carpets in the apartment twice already and the forever dirty Merry Men were to blame. The last time they came to visit Mateo after a rough apprehension she had given them an ultimatum- either take off your boots before you walk into the apartment or don't come at all.

The sound of electronic gunfire and jeering of grown men filled the apartment along with the occasional exclamation from a little boy. Steph walked through the apartment and into the room that had once been Ranger's home office. It was converted into Mateo's bedroom soon after Stephanie discovered she was pregnant. She leaned against the doorframe and watched as Hector, Lester, Tank, and Ram sat cross-legged in front of Mateo's television set playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare on the boy's Xbox. All of the men were wearing their usual black but they also donned different dress up items from Mateo's vast collection of superhero costumes. Mateo was perched on Tank's shoulders and held on by hooking his legs around Tank's shoulders and under his arms, his hands splayed across Tank's bald head.

Clearly, the men had dressed him once they showed up to take him to breakfast. He was wearing a pair of black combats, a black tee shirt, a child's Kevlar vest, and a black baseball cap turned backwards on his small head. Not only had they dressed him up like a SWAT G.I Joe, but they even armed him with 

black water pistols tucked into the back of his pants. She would have to talk to them about that. Mateo slapped the top of Tank's head repeatedly and shouted as Tank missed his mark.

"I told you to go left! Left! You went right, not left. Did you go to school? Do you know your right from your left?" He leaned over the top of Tank's head and stared Tank in the eye upside down. Stephanie had to put a hand to her mouth to remain silent and not blow her cover as her shoulders shook with inaudible laughter.

"Mateo, maybe you should right a little 'L' on your partner's left hand for him. It'll help him remember."

"Man, shut the fuck up Ram."

"Hey!" Five heads snapped around and looked at the door at a raging Steph. Her arms were crossed and her eyes narrowed.

"You want to try that again, Tank?" Tank looked like a little boy caught writing on his mother's walls with Sharpie.

"Mama!"

"Hey, Bombshell."

"Hola, Hermosa."

"Stephanie."

"Hey, Beautiful!" Stephanie didn't let up.

"What would Carlos do if he heard that word used around his son? Hm? No, never mind Carlos, what would Mrs. Manoso do if she heard that word used around her grandson?" Steph watched as all four of the men's Adam's Apples leapt up with heavy gulps. Ranger's mother was more protective over Mateo than Ranger would ever be. The 5'4, lovingly round woman would take out an entire army with only a wooden spoon and a bar of soap if it meant Mateo's health.

"I'm sorry, Bombshell." Steph shook her head and winked at Tank. She knelt down carefully to keep her knees touching in the dangerously tight skirt she wore and a beaming smile spread across her lips as she spread her arms. She had never felt more exhausted than after the emotional event she had experienced today and she needed to have Mateo in her arms. He returned the wide smile and launched himself from Tank's shoulders. His little legs carried him quickly to his mother and he ran into her open arms. Once she had him, Steph held him to her and stood. Mateo's arms and legs were wrapped around her and he held on for dear life and buried his face in her shoulder.

"No eras alli cuando desperate. Por que?" _(you were not there when I woke up. Why?)_

"I went to the gym and then I had an appointment with Daddy. I'm sorry, baby. Did you have fun today?" She soothingly rubbed her hand up and down Mateo's back while swaying gently side to side on her feet. Mateo pulled away and leaned back to look at his mother. The smile on his face was irreplaceable as he recanted the day's events.

"First, we went to the diner, the one that Daddy says is a 'heart attack waiting to happen'. I got chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate with the fluffy white stuff."

"Whipped cream."

"Yeah, that. And then I got a ice cream." You have to love Jersey diners. Stephanie raised a brow.

"You ate ice cream with your breakfast. At 9:00."

"Si, Mama. But Uncle Lester said that if you could eat a Boston Cream for breakfast, I could eat a sundae." So he had her there. Steph's smile grew wider and she kissed Mateo's caramel forehead before looking back into his sincere eyes. They were so blue and clear against his dark skin and black eyelashes. She sighed softly and rubbed his back.

"Then what did you do?"

"We made a army fort in Uncle Lester's apartment out of blankets and pillows. I shot down Uncle Tank and Uncle Lester but Uncle Hector made us abort the mission when Ella came to clean. So then we came up here. Me and Uncle Tank were winning until…" He twisted in her arms so that he could look behind him at Tank. "…SOMEONE forgot their right from their left!" Stephanie giggled softly and brought Mateo back for another hug. Tank shook his head with a smile while the other men laughed, cleaning up the toys scattered on the floor.

"That's ok, baby. Why don't we go read a story?" She felt his head nod against her shoulder and his arms tighten around her neck. Before leaving, Steph smiled at the Merry Men behind her.

"Unless you would like to join in on Peter Pan, I suggest you gentlemen get back to work. Although, I have to say, we are on the third chapter and it is just getting good." She was answered with regretful smiles and a chuckle from Hector.

"Not today, Beautiful. Maybe some other time. I was never really a fan of a little boy wearing green tights, anyway." Lester removed Mateo's red Superman cape from around his neck and returned it to the toy chest beside Mateo's dresser. Steph shrugged and sighed dramatically.

"Well, alright. But I guess I owe you all dinner then in return for your wonderful babysitting services. Maybe tomorrow I'll convince the boss to call it in early. Have a little night on the grill?"

"Sounds good, Beautiful." She smiled while rubbing Mateo's back soothingly and turned to leave the room. On her way through the apartment she found the book on a mahogany shelf in the living room and grabbed it, taking a seat on the big leather couch. Mateo let go of her for the first time, removed his hat, and situated himself so that his body was curled up beside her on the couch but his head rested gently on her lap so that he could see the pictures if she balanced the book on her knees. Steph did just that and absent mindedly stroked Mateo's hair as she read from where they had left off the day before.

The men passed through the living room on their way out and Steph paused from her reading to blow an air kiss in their direction. They nodded and smiled. Lester pretended to catch it mid-air and placed his hand over his heart, dramatically fluttering his eyelashes. He was so depressed at any given moment but one morning with Mateo and he had a reason to be happy again. It seemed the boy had that effect on everybody.

She returned to the story and continued to run her fingers through Mateo's thick silky hair. The book was long and Steph couldn't wait to finish it. It was one of those bed time stories that a child picks out because it drags on forever. After twenty pages or so, Mateo suddenly shot up. He sat on his knees and 

looked over Steph's shoulder in the general area of the front door. She furrowed her brow in question and waited to hear someone enter. Nothing.

"What is it?"

"Daddy's coming." Steph listened hard but heard nothing. Sure enough, after thirty more seconds, the locks tumbled. It seemed Batbaby could hear Batman before he even stepped off the elevator. The door opened and Mateo sprang to his socked feet on the couch. Steph didn't bother turning around because the look in Ranger's eyes would probably just make her cry.

"Daddy! Mama and I've waiting for you! Donde ha sido usted?" _(Where have you been?)_ Steph looked down at the book in her lap and closed her eyes. She was not waiting for him, not in the mood he had been in while they rode the elevator. _Please be happy. Please, please, please. Carlos, be happy. _Ranger's keys clinked in the bowl by the door and his footfalls thundered in the front entrance. He made his way to the couch and stood behind it, smiling softly at his son. His eyes flickered to Steph who seemed stiff and just as tense as ever. _I did this to my Babe. It's my fault she can't even turn around to look at me without crying. But I can't help it. Please look at me, Stephanie. _

"Tuve cita y entonces yo fui al gimnasio."_(I had an appointment and then I went to the gym.)_ He was still wearing his mesh basketball shorts and black tee shirt, sweat matting his hair so that it looked like he had slicked it back with gel, but he couldn't wait to hold Mateo. He stretched out his arms and caught Mateo as he launched himself from the couch. Mateo wrapped his arms around Ranger's neck and held on for dear life as he crushed the boy to his chest. Not only was he physically tired from draining his emotions through intense weight training, but his heart was pounding just as heavily as his head. After a moment, Mateo leaned back so that he could look at Ranger.

"I had ice cream for breakfast and hot chocolate. And then I shot Uncle Tank and Uncle Lester." Stephanie still had her eyes closed but she knew Ranger well enough to know that his left eyebrow was probably jacked so far up his forehead that it ran past his hairline.

"Water gun." She spoke lightly and stood up, moving to the bookshelf she had been to before and placed the book in its proper place before going into the bedroom to change. Ranger's brow returned to its normal place at Steph's words and he smirked softly.

"Was it a fatal shot? You know it's not right to make your mark suffer." Mateo nodded quickly.

"Si, Daddy. On the forehead. Can we watch cartoons?" Ranger couldn't help but smile at his son's ability to change topics faster than anybody he had ever met. He needed a shower badly but one look at the closed bedroom door told him that Steph could probably use the time to herself. He nodded and took his usual spot on the couch with Mateo on his lap with his back to Ranger's front. Mateo watched cartoons intently while Ranger thought, arms wrapped around Mateo in a gentle hug. From his view, Ranger could see a small scar that was on the side of his boy's neck. It was about an inch long and still pink from being newly healed. He had obtained the original cut during his kidnapping and it tore at Ranger's heart to know that he would forever bear the mark of the horrible episode. Mateo seemed completely unfazed by the incident. A child psychiatrist had explained that when put into an extremely stressful situation, children have the ability to completely forget it until they are fully able to grasp the meaning of it. He sighed and kissed the scar, causing Mateo to giggle and swat at his father behind him. God, how he loved that little boy. Every inch of him tingle at the sound of his laugh.

"Daddy, that tickled." How Ranger had managed to land himself such a fortune was beyond him. As he held the boy in his arms, it took everything he had in him to not relive the torturous accounts of those 18 hours in which Mateo was missing. During a commercial, Mateo squirmed in Ranger's arms so that he was straddling his waist and looking him in the eye. His small hands went to the metal dog tags still hanging around his father's neck and he ran his thumbs over the imprinted words, having no clue as to what the tags had seen or what they meant.

"Can we get a dog? Uncle Joe lets me help walk Bob when we visit so I know how. Aunt Lula said she can help me drive him to the vet when he needs a checkup or he needs a shot. And I saw on TV that people hug their dogs when they are sad. So you can hug it and Mama can hug it and she won't cry anymore." Ranger's breath hitched in his throat. The kid wanted to get a dog so his parents wouldn't be sad anymore. _Mi niño, if it was only that simple. _Ranger placed his hand on the back of Mateo's head and kissed his forehead before sighing. Mateo stared intently into his father's eyes and waited, not understanding why the request warranted a kiss or any sign of affection for that matter.

"Mateo, why don't we try a goldfish? My life doesn't lend itself to dog ownership."

"Don't worry, Mateo. I've heard that before. He'll crack." Ranger and Mateo both turned their heads to see Steph walk through the bedroom door and down the hall to the living room. She had changed into a pair of jeans and a black Rangeman tee and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Ranger and Stephanie had matching tired eyes and heavy hearts.

She walked into the living room, stepped around the coffee table in front of the couch and bent down to pick up various toy airplanes that littered the carpet. Mateo stood as well and picked up one of the planes. He made his own version of engine noises and flew the plastic plane around the living room until he felt it necessary to fly it into his room. Ranger stood and began to help pick up the toys. It looked like a bomb had gone off and he knew it was only because his men were in charge. Mateo knew that he didn't have to clean up when he was with them.

After every toy was put away, Stephanie turned to head to the kitchen. Ranger had 'requested' that she do that search for him before five o'clock and it was pushing three. The last thing she wanted to do was sit at her computer for two hours digging up information on some low life. No doubt that with her luck, she'd run into dead ends all over the place and end up having to dig deep in different systems, claiming her evening. But the way he had demanded the task be done sat heavy on her shoulders and she figured she might as well just get it done.

It wasn't like her to let him speak to her like that, but after seeing him bear his soul the way he did in Dr. Reed's office she just couldn't bring herself to challenge him. It had been hard for him to say those things and she felt almost guilty for it, though she knew she had no reason to. She was completely lost in her thoughts and hadn't noticed that Ranger had followed her out of the living room and into the kitchen where she intended on getting a water bottle. _Now's my time. Fix it, Manoso. You were an asshole and she didn't deserve it for a second._ He smiled inwardly at her lack of awareness and he watched as she opened the fridge, peering inside. She lingered there for a minute and he wasn't sure why. He watched her sigh. _Carlos, please go away. I'm giving you extra time. Just go. I can't take your shit right now._ She prolonged the task as long as she could before it was finally time to face the music. Steph straightened and closed the door. To Ranger's surprise, she turned around and stared directly into his eyes. So she had known he was there. _Why didn't she say something before? _

Steph had a brow raised in question and her expression practically screamed, 'Speak. You have two seconds.' Ranger dropped his arms that had been folded over his chest and he took a step, closing the 

gap between him. With an unsteady hand he took the water bottle from her grasp and took her hands in his, then placed her arms around his neck. He held them there a second to let her know he wanted them to stay. She complied and tried her best to keep her blank face on. Once he let go of her hands he placed them on her back and he brought her to him in a tight embrace. He felt her stiffen.

"I'm sorry about before, when we got home." _Please forgive me, Babe. I love you so much and I didn't mean it. I don't know where it came from. I love you so much and I'm sorry. I just want to hold you. _Her heart raced at the sound of his voice. He was apologizing, and it sounded sincere, but why did he sound like he was talking to an FTA? _Some apology. Can you at least pretend like you mean it? _He felt her nod against his shoulder and he heard her sniffle. _God Babe, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._ He threaded his fingers through her wild curls and gently pulled her head away from his chest so that he could hold her gaze. For the umpteenth time in the past few weeks he had made her cry. She looked so tired and worn. But most of all she looked as if she was on the edge, almost at her breaking point. _How much more can I put her through before she cracks? Please don't leave me Babe. _He wiped away a falling tear with the pad of his thumb. _Leave me, Stephanie. Take Mateo and leave me. Why won't you just leave me?_ _Babe I want to hold you like this forever. I want to kiss you and not feel you go rigid under my hands. _He stared into her eyes and searched for answers.

And there it was. That look in her eye that made his heart ache. The reason why he couldn't look at her was staring up at him. He saw nothing but a broken down woman so desperately in love with a mess of a man that she would put herself through hell to try and save him. _I love the way you feel under my hands, Babe. Just let me hold you. I don't need anything else, just let me hold you. _Steph felt his hands move lower on her back so they rested just above the waist band of her jeans. _Oh jeeze, Steph. You thought he actually wanted to apologize? Yeah, look where his hands are. Of course he's apologizing. Can't get into your pants while you're fighting, now can he? _Her heart sunk and she felt nauseous.Stephanie stepped back and dropped her arms, picking up the water bottle Ranger had put on the counter behind her.

"I have a search on my desk due to my boss in two hours. I have to go." Ranger sighed as her words sunk in. _Babe, please. Just let her go, Manoso. You've done enough. _Steph stepped around him and walked to the door. She opened it and thought for a moment before turning back to look at Ranger, still standing with his back to the door and his head hung low. Hadn't they made any progress? Why was he still so hollow?

"No. Fuck you. Tell my boss I quit. And if he decides to show himself in the near future, tell my fiancé that I'm going to Mary Lou's for a little while. I'll be home in time to pick up Mateo to bring him to my parents'."

0000000

Ranger stepped out of the shower and listened hard to make sure he heard Mateo. Sure enough he heard his happy giggling and the jingle of a cartoon. He smiled inwardly at the sound of his son's laugh and thought about how happy he made him. The sound of his cell phone vibrating against the marble counter top filled his ears and he picked it up.

"Yo."

"Ranger, there's been an accident. It's Steph."

**Please don't kill me. Just remember the HEA I promised you…please? **


	11. Chapter 11

**sigh I forgot how much I love the first chapter of this story. But more importantly, I want to take this moment to say thank you to my wonderful reviewers. You all have no idea how happy you make me! My sister was watching me check my emails and she said I was smiling like a just won the lottery. I was reading my reviews : ) I love you all and I write this only for you so keep 'em coming!**

"Wh-what? When?"

"On her way to Mary Lou's. Just off Carol street. A delivery truck ran a stop sign and hit her on the driver's side." Ranger's heart thundered in his chest and his breathing was labored. Stephanie had been hurt so many times but for some reason, this felt different. Tank's voice sounded too worried, too unsteady for a Rangeman and Ranger wasn't sure if he was about to hear that Steph left the scene in a body bag. Ranger put his phone on speaker and began to dress. He reached blindly into a drawer and pulled out a pair of dark wash Levi's and then into another drawer to pull out a white tee from a local bar. He dressed and gathered information as he suited up and armed himself.

"Car."

"The Turbo. It crumpled like a soup can."

"Hospital."

"St. Francis. She's in surgery now. I don't know the details but it's not good and you have a few hours until she gets out. The GL is waiting in front of the elevator for you." Ranger frantically searched his room for anything else he might need. How many times had he left the apartment? How many times had he dressed himself to go out in public? Hundreds, thousands of times. _Do I have a gun on me? Yes. Knife. Do I need a knife? Yes. No, wait. I don't know. Fuck. Where's my phone? In my hand. Where's my- _He couldn't get his breathing under control. They practically had a running tab at the hospital and he could remember each time he had helped her clean up after a bad skip. But this time was different. Of course he was always worried about her each time he got that phone call from Tank. But in that moment he couldn't help but feel panicked.

As he passed the wall length mirror next to the dresser he caught his own gaze in his reflection. For the first time, Ranger looked to see what he was wearing. Dark wash, well worn jeans and a loose fitting tee shirt with his black Nike running sneakers. His hair was almost dry now and hung loose around his broad shoulders. It felt strange to see himself so casual and if Steph were there next to him under different circumstances, she'd have ruined her panties. It wasn't Ranger staring back at him, but Carlos. He hadn't been able to see Carlos in weeks and for a fleeting second he felt normal. But there was no time to be normal.

"Mateo! Rapidamente, nos estamos yendo." _(Quickly, we are leaving.)_ He jogged from the bedroom and down the short hall to the living room. There was an familiar pain in his chest, more of a pressure really, that crept up his throat and he found it hard to speak clearly. Mateo was on the couch still watching cartoons and looked curiously up at his father.

"Why, Daddy?" Ranger stopped at the front door now and got Mateo's CAT boots. He jogged back over to the couch and knelt in front of Mateo. He made quick work of putting them on Mateo's small feet and tied them, remembering to double knot them so he wouldn't trip later. _Ok. Mateo is going to come with me and when we get there he'll go home with her mother. I'll stay and pick him up arou-_

"Daddy? Por que nos estamos yendo?" _(Why are we leaving?) _Ranger's eyes snapped up from Mateo's feet and he looked up into his eyes. He hadn't realized how much he had startled his son but one look into his crystal eyes told him so. Mateo had never seen Ranger move with such speed and necessity, nor had he seen him in such casual clothing with such a panicked tone to his voice. The pressure and pain building up in his chest cavity felt even more intense and even heavier with each tear filled blink from his son, demanding to be released. He cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, pushing back down whatever it was that was causing him such discomfort. How could he tell his son that his mother was being operated on to save her life and he wasn't sure what condition she would be in once she got out? _Babe, my Babe. _

"Mama was in a car accident. She's in the hospital right now because she has to get her scrapes fixed." He didn't need to know that those 'scrapes' were potentially bruised or damaged organs, broken bones, countless abrasions, fractures. The second the words left his mouth, the same panic and fear washed over Mateo. Tears began to fall down his soft, round cheeks, making his thick black lashes glisten. Ranger reached up with a callused thumb and wiped away the stream, then cupped his small face in his wide palm.

"Shhhh, mi niño. It'll be ok. Parar tus rasgones." _(stop your tears) _Mateo couldn't help the heaves coming from his chest. He grabbed Ranger's wrist tightly in his little hands as he shook his head.

"No, Daddy. What if she isn't ok? What happens if they can't fix her?" He sobbed now, clutching Ranger's wrist while shaking his head furiously. Stephanie had stopped doing field work and distractions the second she found out she was pregnant. Mateo had never known about his mother's wild past and it scared him to death to think that his mother was in a hospital. He had no problem going to fix whatever he had done to himself while jumping off Tank's truck but in his eyes, Mama is not allowed to go. Ranger felt that ever-present hand reach into his chest cavity and claw at his heart. _No. No. No. No. Steph is going to be ok. They WILL fix her. They will fix her. They have to. I can't..I.._Ranger's eyes glazed over and his lungs felt water logged. Since when did he cry? Seeing Mateo so worked up and hearing his sweet voice so shaky and filled with tears, it was too much for him. Throw that all on top of the fact that Steph was side swiped by a truck and was in surgery and it made for an emotional meltdown. He felt his heart creep up into his throat and he fought with himself to push it back down.

"She will be ok." _She has to be ok. _Ranger leaned up and kissed Mateo's forehead before scooping him up and crushing the boy to his chest. He felt Mateo's arms and legs tighten around his neck and waist, his skin tingling as his son's tears seeped through the thin material of his tee shirt where Mateo had buried his face. _She will be ok. She's going to be fine. _Ranger chanted his mantra to himself as he cradled the back of Mateo's head in his massive palm and rushed out of the apartment. Once in the elevator, Ranger finally noticed how hard his heart was thundering in his chest. Not that the guys would ever dare say anything or blame him, but Ranger was relieved to feel that his tears had stopped and he could now control his breathing. He ran a steady hand up and down Mateo's back. _Stay calm, stay calm for Mateo. What would Babe say if she found out you weren't strong for Mateo? _

Just like Steph, he had the parental instinct to gently sway on his feet side to side in a calming fashion that seemed to keep Mateo's anxiety under control. He whispered soft Spanish into his ear and turned his head to gently kiss the side of his face every few words, waiting for the elevator to reach the garage. It couldn't happen fast enough. Mateo's sobs had simmered down to hiccups while he took comfort in the strong embrace of Ranger. Finally, after an agonizing minute and twenty seconds the 'ding' of the elevator sounded and the doors opened. Ranger stepped off and just as Tank had said, their black GL was running and waiting for them. He buckled Mateo into his booster seat, kissed his forehead softly 

and then hopped in the driver's seat before speeding off to the hospital, his heart in his lap the entire time.

0o0o0o0o

Ranger rushed through the automatic doors, holding Mateo so that he had his arms and legs wrapped around Ranger tightly, with his hand cradling the back of his small head. The scene in the lobby of St. Francis was close to the scene Ranger and Steph had walked into once waking up after Mateo's kidnapping. That same feeling of panic that had brought him to his knees that day swept over him again, but by some force of nature he was able to support his own weight. There were plain clothes and uniforms walking around, all friends of Steph, as well as every Rangeman that had ever known her. Her entire family as well as most of his was seated in the chairs along the back wall. There was a dull hum over the crowd as some cried, some prayed, but most just consoled their families. As if they sensed his presence, all attention turned to Ranger and all fell silent, like they were waiting for his instruction. But he was lost. He clutched Mateo to him like a life line and fought with every ounce of energy to keep his blank face on. It was of no use. His jaw was tight and his mouth still but his eyes screamed with the agony pumping through his veins. A woman Ranger recognized as the nurse that normally took care of Steph stepped forward through the crowd and met him half way into the lobby.

"Mr. Manoso, Stephanie was ejected from the car and landed roughly fifteen feet away from the collision site. She suffered three broken ribs and may have punctured lung, as well as a dislocated shoulder and some asphalt burn to her side. She's in surgery now repairing the lung." She gave a weak smile and returned to her desk. The room began to spin and it wasn't long before he felt hands guide him to a chair in the corner. He saw Joe and Tank's lips moving but he heard no words. All he could hear was the labored breathing coming from Mateo's mouth just below his ear while his head rested on his shoulder.

After a few hours, Mateo was sleeping soundly on Ranger and all of the crowd had dissipated. _God, what the fuck is wrong with me? They had to sit me down? Since when do I need to be put in a chair so I don't pass the fuck out? _He took stock of the room, actually seeing everything for the first time since he had sat down. Joe was slumped over, asleep, in a chair on the opposite side of the room. Tank was beside Ranger in a chair, stone faced and patient as he watched the door to the surgery hall.

"When did I become such a fucking mess?" Ranger whispered softly so as not to wake Mateo but Tank could still hear him. He sighed and watched the surgery hall door just as Tank did.

"You're not a mess. You're just allowing yourself to be human. You freaked. It happens. Get over it and don't dwell on it." Ranger cocked a brow at Tank. Ranger blinked a few times but then sighed in agreement. _Don't dwell on it. She'll be ok. Just move on with her and help her. _His Babe. She lay opened up on an operating table all alone, unconscious as they repaired her perfect body. He desperately wanted to trade places with her, or even hold her hand. He couldn't stand the thought of her being alone. _Allowing myself to be human. Hnh. _Ranger mentally laughed. Steph had been telling him for weeks now that he wasn't allowing himself to be human. Apparently she wasn't the only one that noticed.

Nearly five hours after Stephanie was admitted, the swinging doors to the surgery wing opened and two surgeons walked through, both still in their bloody scrubs. Ranger felt his heart beat speed up to an uncontrollable rate and his breathing followed suit.

"Mr. Manoso, Stephanie did just fine. She's going to be in pain but everything was very routine. We can allow one visitor in her room at a time just for stress purposes, but if you would like to go see her she is in room 118 of the ICU." The blood covered men nodded and turned to leave. Ranger had never felt more relieved in his entire life. _Babe is ok. She's ok, she's alright. I can go see her. But Mateo, he'll want to see her._ Tank read his boss's face, not easily perceptible since he had taken down his walls, and reached for Mateo. He made the transition smoothly and Mateo nuzzled into the man's rock hard chest, still fast asleep.

"Should I take him back to the building or to her parents?" Ranger sighed. If Mateo woke up in his grandparents' house without all of his own bedding and his familiar settings he would surely panic once remembering where his mother was.

"Take him back home and ask Ella to stay with him, unless the guys want to. When he wakes up, tell him Steph is ok and tell him I'll come get him when Steph can see people." Tank nodded once and parted as Ranger jogged down the hall to room 118 of the Intensive Care Unit. He stopped in front of her door and for a brief moment, he thought about turning back. Could he handle seeing her like this? Could he stand to see her so broken? He had to. With a shaking hand Ranger opened her door and entered the room.

His beautiful Babe was lying on the bed, eyes closed. She had a chest tube down her throat, tapped into place over her kissable lips with multiple IV's protruding from her ivory skin. She looked lifeless and it tugged at his heart. The only thing keeping him going was seeing her chest rise and fall with each slow breath. He took careful steps and found himself a place in a chair right beside her bed. _My Babe. My poor Babe, what happened to you? _He watched her breathed and took comfort in the fact that she seemed to have retained some of her color. She wasn't stable enough for movement yet so Ranger could only hold her hand. And he did, for the rest of the night, his eyes never leaving her face.

Multiple nurses had come through every hour, on the hour, the entire night and they reassured him that she was doing well. His eyelids began to droop and they felt as if they had ten pound weights attached. _Stay awake, Manoso. She needs you._ He scolded himself silently as he watched her breathe. What if something happened while he slept? What if she woke up and wanted to talk to him? '_Be human, Carlos.'_ Her sweet voice played over in his mind and he couldn't help but listen, resting his head next to her limp hand on the bed. _Only a second. Just a second and I'll be awake. Just a second. _

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Mr. Manoso? Mr. Manoso." A gentle hand tapped lightly on his shoulder, causing him to stir. _What the fuck? Steph! _His eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. He had been sleeping for five hours and apparently Steph had been, too. He looked over to see her sleeping and still limp though without her chest tube. He looked up at the nurse.

"She's ok. The doctor came in while you were sleeping and he cleared her for the tube. Her lung wasn't punctured, just bruised, so she should be able to speak as soon as she's ready." She checked a few of the monitors and jotted a few things down before leaving him alone with Steph. He looked over at her and without thinking, he reached out to touch her face. Even broken she still felt smooth and soft beneath his rough finger tips.

"My Babe. Mi amor. Que el hizo a ti, hermoso?" _(what did they do to you, beautiful?) _He caressed the side of her perfect face and gasped softly as he watched her eyes flutter. He stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb, staring at her intently. Slowly but surely, Steph's eyes opened. She looked frantically 

around the room then finally at Ranger, pleading to him with her eyes for an explanation. He stood and held her face between his massive mitts. Leaning forward, he placed a gentle kiss to her dry lips.

"You were in a car accident, Babe. You broke a few ribs and you had a dislocated shoulder. You had surgery to repair a punctured lung and you've been out for about twelve hours." It was the equivalent of him speaking a thousand words but he figured the more information she had, the less panicked and confused she would feel. And it helped. She eased into Ranger's embrace and closed her eyes, letting it all sink in. He kissed her softly again and thought of the things he would like to hear if Steph could be by his side every time he was hurt on a mission.

"Mateo is home with the guys and Ella. They'll probably let him eat ice cream again for breakfast but I don't think there's much we can do to stop it." This got a small smile from Steph, still keeping her eyes closed. _That's good, Babe. Smile. Smile for me, please Babe. I need to see you smile. _She moved her lips to speak but she couldn't get a word out. Ranger found a small cup with a straw and he filled it with water, letting her drink from it. She took small, careful sips and soon her tongue was no longer stuck to the roof of her mouth.

"Thanks." He nodded and stroked the palm of her hand with the tips of his fingers, as if he would break her from any more contact. She looked so helpless and fragile in the hospital bed that he wasn't sure if she was in fact real. She opened her eyes and looked over at him, gracing him with the smile again. She took in his appearance and felt her heart flutter. He looked sexy as hell in his tee shirt and jeans and she felt butterflies grow in her stomach. The way his silky hair fell around his shoulders sent shock waves through her body, as did the contrast from his mocha latte skin and white shirt. And then he smiled. She thought for sure that her heart monitor would have to go into overtime.

"Why are we smiling, Babe? Not that I'm complaining." He leaned forward in his chair and brought her palm to his face, placing it on his scruffy, unshaven cheek. She rubbed her thumb back and forth just beneath his eye. Only his Babe could be comforting someone else while she was in a hospital bed.

"You look good. Like my Carlos, the man I love." She whispered still, her throat sore from the chest tube. Her words had just as much impact on him as if she were screaming. His heart skipped a beat. All the things he had done to her, said to make her cry. After everything he had put her through and after all that she had endured, she could still love him. That heavy weight dropped on his lungs again and he had to clear his throat to form words.

"I know, Babe. It's going to stay this way. I love you with everything I am. I won't do this to you anymore." He turned his face so that he could kiss her palm before leaning in to capture her lips in his own. He kissed her whole heartedly for only a second, remembering that she could only handle so much. _I'm so sorry, Babe. I'm sorry. It's over. I'm done. I won't do this to you anymore. _He found it pathetic that Steph had to have an accident for him to realize how much time he was wasting. But, it had worked. And Carlos was back. She sighed softly beneath his lips and he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.

"So when's the wedding, Batman? I've been your fiancé for way too long." He chuckled softly and kissed her again, this time tracing her lips with the tip of his tongue.

"Whenever you want, Babe."

"Then the second I get out of here." He nodded, still chuckling, and kissed her again before gently placing himself next to her in the bed. Careful not to disturb and stitches, he turned on his side so that 

he faced her. She moved on her own accord and inched closer to him carefully and finally rested once she was pressed up against his warmth.

"Te amo, Babe. Sueno, eres cansado." _(I love you, Babe. Sleep, you are tired.) _She nodded softly and let her eyes flutter shut. He ran his hand up and down her spine gently, soothing her into her dreams while listening to her steady breathing. He heard her pick up a steady pattern and he knew she was almost asleep. Then the pattern changed. Her eyes shot open and her piercing blue gaze rested on his.

"Babe?"

"Your mother called me after I left Haywood." He raised a brow in question.

"We had an interesting talk about a conversation you had with her." Again, he raised a brow.

"You want another baby?" _Oh. That conversation._

"I would like to have as many children with you as you want. Whether that's just Mateo or twenty more." He kissed her softly and waited to gauge her reaction. _Of course I want another baby._ "I know Mateo wasn't planned and if he's enough for you than he's enough for me." She nodded slowly and seemed to be mulling over the topic. _Jeeze. I can't have another baby. I can't. Mateo was a shock, not a surprise. I wouldn't change him for anything but, god. I can't have another baby. I'm surprised they haven't taken Mateo from me as it is._

"Can I get back to you on that?" _I can't have another baby. _Her eyes were closed now and she returned her head to Ranger's chest, hopefully hiding her very readable face from his view. She felt his chest vibrate again with a chuckle and he nodded.

"Of course, Babe. Go to sleep." _Mateo will be an only child. But that's ok. She's given me Mateo. I can't complain. _And he listened as his Babe breathed herself into a deep sleep.

**Once again, thank you to all the readers and reviewers. You all keep me smiling. This is the second to last chapter. The next chapter will be the last! It's going to be happy and nice and just what you've all been waiting for. Stay tuned and thank you all so much for reading, sticking with me through this whirl wind of Ranger emotion! **


	12. Chapter 12

_**This is so sad! I don't want it to end but all good things must. I tried to make this a good one. It's longer than the rest and hopefully as happy as you all want it to be. Without further ado...**_

"Jesus, Steph. I don't know how you lift your hand with that rock on it. What is that, like 95 carats?" Steph rolled her eyes expertly and sipped her coffee, intending to ignore her friend's observations as they sat in Mary Lou's cluttered kitchen. It had been four weeks since the wedding and Mary Lou was probably the ten thousandth person to ask that question. _It's 4 ½, for your information. She'd shit a pickle if she knew it was platinum. _

"Look, Mare, I still haven't given him an answer. How do I tell him I don't want more kids?" _I can't hurt his feelings._ Ranger and Steph never actually brought up the subject again after they spoke of it in the hospital the night of the accident. Steph was too afraid of hurting his feelings or shooting down his hopes and Ranger didn't want to pressure her, though he was screaming inside. Mary Lou stared down into her coffee cup and pursed her lips tightly, giving Steph her usual 'I'm thinking' look. _Ugh. I have to tell him some time. It's not like he'll just forget. Yeesh, you'd think it'd be Joe I'd have to say this to. He's begging Terry to stop. Hnh. Irony alive and well. _

"Steph, _why _don't you want any more kids? Don't you love Mateo?" Stephanie went wide eyed and she gasped slightly, appalled.

"Of course I love Mateo. He's the most important thing in my life." The thought of not having Mateo brought back the horrible memory of having her son abducted. She shook her head. "He's my everything."

"Then what's so bad about a big family, though two kids is hardly big. What are you so worried about? Mothers have been doing it since the beginning of time. I think between the Polaski's down the street and the Derleth's around the block, the burg's pretty much got the Jurassic period covered."

"EXACTLY! I am not the burg! I don't want to be a burg mother. That is not me! If I have another kid, I'm just like them. And I can't do it! I'm already well on my way." Stephanie's hands were flailing and her eyes were almost popping out of her head, her inner Italian over powering the Hungarian genes.

"And how exactly are you well on your way to being a burg mother, Steph?"

"I got married and I popped out a kid. Exactly like a burg mother. Though, I did it kind of backwards. But it's the same thing." Steph drained her coffee mug and put it down on the table with an exasperated sigh. _Just like my mother. Just like Ellen Plum. I've done it. I promised myself I wouldn't. But I did._ She looked up from the table to Mary Lou.

"Stephanie Pl-Manoso_." God, I love the way that sounds. _ "I hate to rain on your parade, but you are nothing like the burg."

"Uh, yeah Mare. I am."

"Then please, enlighten me. Explain how it is that being married to The Terminator is anything at all like marrying some burg womanizer." Stephanie thought about that. _Being married to Carlos is nothing like being married to a typical burg asshole. He's perfect. Our marriage is perfect. It's kind of sick, really. We're nauseating. But perfect. _She smiled to herself and looked down to hand that was resting on the table. The diamond sparkled in the light and it made the butterflies in her stomach go wild. It was gorgeous on the outside but the inscription on the inside was what brought tears to her eyes. _Forever, Babe. You and Me. _So simple yet it spoke volumes.

"See? I told you." _She has ESP, too? _"No, you said that out loud, genius." _Oh._ She looked down into her lap and thought.

"Ok, so Carlos isn't a burg guy at all. But I had a kid. That's exactly what my mother wanted." Mary Lou erupted in a ball of laughter, coffee spewing from her mouth and all over the table in front of her. Steph watched as she slapped her hand on her thigh and gasped. After a few heaves for breath, she finally calmed down and collected herself enough so she could speak. Steph cocked her head to the side slightly like a confused puppy.

"Oh, Steph! I'm sorry I laughed, but you think having Mateo is a qualification? My God, Stephanie, your kid walks around in a Kevlar vest and army fatigues. He knows how to pick locks and can attack an assailant twice his size. He's 5." _Hey! He'll be six in a month._ Mary Lou was now mopping up her mess with a dish towel and shook her head while still smiling. "Mateo is no burg kid." _No, my Mateo is not a burg kid. He's smart and perfect and he's mine. He is not a burg kid. He will not play choo-choo in a garage or swindle girls out of their paints. Wait, he's exactly like Carlos. Of course he'll swindle girls out of their pants. But no choo-choo. _She sighed and then nodded. Mary Lou was right. Her fears of becoming a burg mother were ridiculous and she knew it. Then what was she afraid of?

"Trust me, Stephanie, you have successfully accomplished your goal of detaching yourself from the burg for life. Again, why don't you want to have any more kids? It's not like you don't love your husband. You are an amazing mother. You do a better job than I ever could. You don't cook or clean but neither would I if I had that wonderful house keeper." Stephanie opened her mouth to answer but then shut it just as soon. She didn't have an answer.

It thrilled her to think that she could love a child as much as she adored her son. Never in a million years did she think that being a mother could come so easily. It was second nature for her to pick him up in her arms and hold him, whisper in his ear and calm his fears at night. _ What if it's all too good to be true? I'm so happy and I'm completely in love with my life. But what if it all goes away? What if I have another baby and it all goes away? I don't know how, but it could. And I won't ever be able to be happy again if it does. I don't exactly have the best track record for safety._

"It's not going away. Rambo's in for the long haul, and trust me, you can't get rid of your kids if you try. The state won't let you." She squeezed Steph's hand reassuringly before taking their mugs and walking to the sink. Steph stood and smiled to herself.

"Yeah, you're right." She gathered her purse and keys, stepped into her shoes and walked down the back hall of Mary Lou's house that led to the play room for the kids. "Es hora de irse."_(it is time to leave) _ She stopped in front of the mirror on the wall and she sighed. _I look the same. Ok, so my hair is a little crazier because it's long. But Carlos likes it. He said it makes me look thoroughly fucked all the time. I don't have any wrinkles at all and my jeans fit perfectly. I'm not a burg mother, right?_

Stephanie turned and reached the end of the hall and looked into the room. Her Mateo, a little caramel colored hunk of heaven. He was sitting on the carpeted floor, pulling the arms and legs off of a Barbie. She couldn't help but smile to herself before she realized that she should probably scold him for doing that. Mary Lou's children were at a play date and so there was no way the Barbie could have been spared. It seemed like making fun of someone when they couldn't be there to defend themselves.

Mateo looked up from the pile of dismantled plastic and he smiled at his mother, all 2000 watts of perfectly straight, little white teeth. His blue eyes sparkled underneath his long lashes and Steph soon forgot about reprimanding him. How such a little person could make her so happy she would never 

know. She crouched down and stretched out her arms. Mateo sprang up from his knees and ran to her, crashing into Steph with enough force to make her hold onto the door frame behind her. He wrapped his arms and legs around her and sighed softly, his breath coming out with an almost silent squeak.

"Te falte, Mama." _(I missed you.)_

"I missed you too, baby." Standing, she rubbed her hand up and down his back slowly and turned her head to kiss his temple. After saying goodbye to Mary Lou once more Steph walked out the front door to their waiting car parked in the drive way. She buckled Mateo in his booster seat and then buckled herself in before turning the engine over. Pulling out onto Main Street, Steph thought about her conversation with Mary Lou. She needed a plan. A good one. Who could help her with her troubles and help think up an outfit good enough to shock Carlos? Ah huh!

"Hey Mateo, I have to do some shopping with Aunt Lula and Aunt Connie, by ourselves. Would you rather I let you stay with the guys or do you want to go to Grandma's?" She looked back at him from the rearview mirror. He had his little eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.

"Does Grandma have pineapple upside down cake?" She smiled.

"No, baby. Mañana por la noche."_(Tomorrow night.)_ He sighed softly then shrugged, looking out the window.

"Then I'll stay with Uncle Ram and Uncle Cal in the control room. I like watching the cameras. I can see all the stuff that happens. Like the last time I was in there when you let me. I think it was…"

"Lunes."_(Monday)_

"Si, Monday. I saw you and Daddy talking in the conference room. You were yelling at Daddy and he was yelling but he was smiling. And then he kissed you. And then he put you on the big table and he ripped your shirt. Do you remember?" Stephanie's face turned cherry red, all the way to the tips of her ears. With wide eyes she fought for an answer.

"Y-yes. I remember. What else d-did you see?" _Please tell me you saw nothing else. Nothing else. _

"I saw you rip Daddy's shirt and then Uncle Cal covered my eyes and took me out of the room." _Oh thank you, God. _Steph turned the GL onto Haywood and pulled into the Rangeman garage. Tank was standing next to one of the F250's with what looked like Hector underneath the truck, his legs sticking out the front. She pulled into a space and got out, moving to Mateo's door.

He jumped down from his chair and sprinted to the guys and the truck. His got down on his hands and knees and crawled under, situating himself next to Hector on the ground. He looked like a little clone. Tank and Hector were both wearing their usual black combats and black shirts with thick soled CATs. Mateo had insisted on the same this morning and Steph didn't feel like fighting with him. She smiled as she caught Tank's eye.

"Hey there, Big Guy."

"Hey, Bombshell. What's going on?" She shrugged and looked down at the two pairs of legs now sticking out from beneath the massive truck, listening to the quiet murmuring Spanish between the two. Hector had been one of Steph's primary tutors when she started learning Spanish and he made sure to correct Mateo's grammar from time to time.

"Not too much. I have to go out for a little while with Lula and Connie. Do you think he can stay here with you guys? And maybe the Rangemen are going to have a sleepover tonight with Mateo on one of your 4th floor apartments? Something that involves sugar to keep him occupied and not asking to come up to our apartment? And maybe I'll get you all some time off?"

"Sure thing. You're not going to be getting into trouble are you?" _Oh, the best kind. _She smiled wickedly and shook her head.

"Nope. Not one bit. But I do need a car without a tracker." That got her a raised eye brow and a quick shake of the head.

"Hnh. Over my dead body is Rangeman's wife out of here without a trace." He crossed his thick arms over his massive chest and watched Hector.

"But he can't know where I'm going!"

"What time will you be back?"

"No later than 7."

"Good. His appointment ends at 7:15 so he'll be home about 8. He won't see your tracker at all. The tracker that you're not leaving without, that is." He patted her on top of the head and ducked under the F250 to help Hector. Defeated and out of luck, Steph turned on the heel of her Puma sneaker and stalked back to the GL. _Ok. I have until 8. 8 o'clock. Prepare for one hell of a night, Carlos. _She turned the engine over and dialed Connie at the office.

"Vincent Plum Bail Bonds."

"It's Steph. I need you and Lula. It's an emergency."

"Sure thing. What's the emergency?"

"I'm going to tell Carlos that I think having another baby is a good idea. And I need an outfit. A good one. Something only you two are capable of thinking up." Steph heard some quiet mumbling in the background and a loud 'whoop' out of Lula.

"Who's driving and in what car?"

"Me. In the GL."

"Good. I always like to travel in style. Make sure you bring the platinum card. We're hittin' up Victoria's Secret and that bitch ain't gunna know what hit her." _Oh boy. _

0o0o0o0o0o

"So, you agree then that your son's misfortune was not your fault." Ranger stared at Dr. Reed briefly before looking down at his lap. _We've been over this a thousand times. I swear to god I'm going to have to beat it into her. _He knew it wasn't but he couldn't explain why he still felt like it was. "Ricardo, you have said before it wasn't your fault. This guilt needs to stop. We're back peddling."

"I brought it on. I fucked up. If I-"

"If you what? Hadn't been Mateo's father?"

"That's not what I was going to say."

"No, but I'm sure it was just as ridiculous. You cannot blame yourself anymore. Didn't you almost lose your wife over this?" Ranger visibly tensed at the low blow. One of the reasons Dr. Reed was recommended to Ranger was because of her 'tough love' philosophy. She'd slapped him around verbally a few times and it seemed to be getting to him, but yet he still wasn't completely convinced. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Yes. I don't deserve her." She rolled her eyes and raised a brow.

"Why the hell not?" The first time she had used such a tone with him he was shocked and thought about shipping her away to a third world country. But now he wasn't bothered by it. Over their many sessions together, they had developed more of a strange friendship rather than a typical therapist-patient relationship. There was always a formality there but Ranger felt comfortable talking to her because she was the only therapist he spoke with that didn't write him a prescription to fix him.

"I almost ended us. I worked my ass off for three years to try and rip her away from the cop and I almost lost her." She raised a brow skeptically.

"Rip her away from the cop? Is this Joseph Morelli?"

"Yes."

"And how exactly did you 'rip her away from the cop'?" Ranger watched as she studied him, trying to read her body language. She was obviously frustrated with him and if he let her, he was sure she would have slapped him. The hideous notepad that scared Steph so much hadn't reappeared since that first session she went to.

"We were on a job. She was doing a distraction for Rangeman and it didn't go as planned and so the cops ended up there with us. He yelled at her for fucking it up, even though she didn't, and then tried to get her to come home with him."

"And she chose to go home with you?" Dr. Reed was secretly thrilled at the amount of conversation coming from Ranger. Over the past two weeks he had began speaking so much that she had to remind him when their session was over. _Finally, some progress. I didn't think the man would ever speak, let alone get over his problems. He had me worried there. Some fucked up shit he's seen. There's no medical term for that. _

"Well, no. I picked her up and put her in my car and drove her back to my apartment."

"So you did physically take her away from him. Well, we've already talked about how you have a tendency to take what you want without asking for permission. How did she respond to that?" He thought back to that night and smiled inwardly.

"She slapped me and refused to come out of the bathroom for a few hours." She snorted. She hadn't expected anything less from his fiery wife. He raised a brow and then continued.

"And then I told her I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and that the cop didn't deserve her. But then neither do I." He looked down at his lap. After he had professed his love to 

her, the door opened. Her eyes were drenched with tears and she was smiling so soundly that the tips of her smile almost touched her ears. He remembered her exact words. _"I've been waiting for you to say that since I walked into the café. It's about time, Batman. I love you, too." _

"Ricardo, listen. I'm going to say this one more time. You deserve her. She deserves you. Be happy. Get over it and accept it. Now, our session is over and I have another patient coming in. But, before you go, what did Stephanie say about having another baby?" He closed his eyes and shook his head. Never in his life did he think he wanted a family. But now that he had Mateo and Steph, it all seemed so right.

"She doesn't want one. She hasn't answered me yet, but I know. She probably feels pressured to become a burg mother and it scares the shit out of her." He wasn't upset over it. They had Mateo and that boy was enough to light up his life a million times over.

"We'll continue this conversation next session. You have made tremendous progress, Ricardo. Now go home to your wife and your son and be happy, please. You deserve your life."

Ranger stepped out of Dr. Reed's office and sighed. He looked down at his watch. _7:20. I can be home by 8. _He smiled inwardly at the thought of holding his Babe in his arms again as he looked down at the thick wedding band on his left ring finger. It had only been three hours since he had spoken to her but it felt like an eternity.

And his son. He imagined what it would be like to see him for the first time since 7:30, almost 12 hours ago. Ranger would kneel down and open his arms. Mateo's little legs would carry him as fast as they possibly could and he would wrap his strong arms around his boy, hold onto him for dear life until he felt satisfied. Ranger mentally slapped himself once he realized that he actually was smiling, not as blank faced as he thought he was.

_Only 40 minutes. Hold it together. _He walked through the parking lot to the Turbo and slid into the driver's seat. He looked over at the empty seat next to him and thought about the way Steph had moaned the last time she was sitting there, feeling the soft leather of the seats and the rumble of the engine. The fact that she moaned anytime she felt something enjoyable, whether it be a soft leather seat or an expert move in the bedroom, made Ranger's self control slip on multiple occasions. He shook his head and turned the engine over. _Hold it together. _

He arrived at the Rangeman building at exactly 7:58 and Ranger felt a wave of relief as he looked around the cement garage. He was almost to his Babe. He could finally take off his black uniform and get in the shower. He would wash away all of the stress and torture of the past few days and be able to breathe again. Then maybe he'd scoop Steph up and show her just how much he missed her. Ranger stepped onto the elevator and pressed his respective button. The elevator stopped on 4 first and the cool steel doors opened silently.

The second the doors spread apart, Ranger was met with an overwhelming sound. It was as if there was a full out wedding reception jam-packed into the hallway. Ram rushed on to the elevator and repeatedly pressed the button for the basement, intent on escaping to the gym. _What the- _Ranger's face was contorted to match his confusion and he stepped off the elevator, grabbing Ram by the collar and dragging him with him. They walked down the hall until Ranger heard exactly where the noise was coming from.

"Santos." He grumbled out his words and didn't bother to look to Ram for confirmation. Using his universal swipe card, Ranger opened the door to find just what was causing such noise. Every single one 

of his employees, including Tank, was huddled around in a circle in Lester's living room, jeering at something in the middle. All of his furniture was pushed to one side of the room, even the carpet, and pressed up against the wall.

The men seemed to be completely unaware of the new guests and continued to watch some activity in the center of the circle. Ranger heard a few of their shouts and gathered that there was some sort of match going on. _They are all dead. Every single one of them. I'm going to hang them by their balls. Grown men. My own grown men, wrestling in a living room. _

"What the fuck is going on here?" Ranger's roar ripped through the air and immediately all activity stopped, as if someone flicked a switch. The crowd parted and the men all lined up. As they parted, Ranger could see what it was they were jeering on. Mateo and Lester were both on the floor, Lester on his stomach and Mateo sitting on Lester's back with an arm around his neck in a solid lock.

Both were shirtless and Mateo's hair looked like he had stuck his finger in a socket. If Lester's hair wasn't recently buzzed then his probably would be too. Instead, he had on black war pain smeared beneath his eyes. Mateo looked up from Lester's head to Ranger and tightened his hold around Lester's neck, scrunching his face to match his effort.

"We're sparring, Daddy!"

"Just teach-ing the kid some m-mo-ves." Lester struggled to speak. Mateo was a lot stronger than he looked and the air supply to his brain was not exactly sufficient. Ranger raised a brow.

"And why is my son down here with you goons at 8 o'clock at night and not in bed?" The question was more directed at Ram, the only person in the room he actually trusted with a logical answer, seeing as that the rest of his men were so eager to watch the little match and he was smart enough to try to escape.

"Steph asked us to keep him down here for the night."

"A sleep over, Daddy." Mateo grunted out the words while repeatedly jerking his arm harder and harder around Lester's neck, who's eyes were bugging out of his head.

"She said she needed the apartment empty tonight and that you should go right up as soon as you got home." _She needs the apartment empty? Without Mateo? Why? _He nodded once.

"As you were, gentlemen." He spun on his heel and made a b-line for the elevator. The doors couldn't open fast enough but once they did he was inside in no more than a millisecond, pressing the number 7 like a little kid at the mall, as if he pressed it more the elevator would go faster. One by one, the elevator traveled up the floors and Ranger felt like he would bust at the seams. What was she planning? Maybe something bad had happened. _Fuck. What if she's hurt? No. They would have told me._

He was almost twitching with anxiety by the time the final 'ding' sounded the elevator's ascension to the 7th floor. He reached a hand into his pocket and he pulled out the key, opening the door quickly.

"Babe?" He stepped in to the apartment. The only response he got was a quiet sound coming from the kitchen. Following the sound, he walked through the living room with his heart in his throat. What would he walk in to? Would she be crying? Hurt? Broken?

What he saw once he reached the kitchen was anything but that. Stephanie was sitting up on the counter holding a large mixing bowl and licking a wooden spoon clean of some chocolaty mixture. She had her long legs crossed and her eyes locked on him. Ranger's eyes traveled from her feet up and his breath hitched. On her shopping trip with Connie and Lula, Steph had worked up one killer outfit.

She had on impossibly high, black, peep toe pumps and a matching black lace panty set. It barely left anything to the imagination. It had pink bows sewn onto the lace and the panties seemed to be held on by pink ribbon bows on each of her slender hips. Her hair cascaded down across her shoulders in perfectly wild curls and her eyes were covered in smoky shadow that made her blue eyes pop, her lashes clearly smothered in mascara for bravery. Ranger felt fire shoot straight down his abdomen and into his crotch at the sight of her licking the wooden spoon.

He was doing a perfect fish impression. She had on blood red lipstick and her pink tongue was gliding up and down the spoon sinfully slow. He swallowed hard and stared in to her eyes. He wanted to rip off those panties and take her right on the counter, but for some reason he couldn't move. Nor could he breathe. _Dios. Ella va a ser la muerte de mí.(She is going to be the death of me). _She kept licking the spoon and staring into his eyes, occasionally letting her tongue graze her bottom lip in a tantalizing fashion.

"Welcome home." She had a sex-kitten moan to her voice and she knew _exactly_ how much she was affecting the growing bulge in his pants. Ranger cleared his throat and raised a brow.

"What are you making, Babe?" She flashed him a small wolf grin and shook her head._ Jeeze, Connie. I hope you were right._

"Not me, Carlos. We."

"Ok. What are _we _making, Babe?" She stood from the counter and sauntered across the kitchen floor to where her husband was standing. Placing the bowl on the side beside her, she closed the distance between them. _You can do it, Steph. You're wearing an entire tube of mascara. You look hot. You can do it._ Ranger followed her actions with her eyes as she dipped a slender finger into the chocolate cake mix in the bowl and then felt the cool tingle as she smeared a small line of it across his jaw. He thought he would come undone.

She leaned up and kissed him softly, her red lips barely touching his before dragging her tongue from the corner of his mouth all the way up to his earlobe to lick up the batter. She felt him shudder against her and she smiled, whispering...

"A baby, Carlos. We are making a baby."

**THE END! **

_That's it. That's the end. I'm sad to see it, but there is the HEA I promised you all. Was it as happy as you would have liked? I hope so. I actually got a few requests for some smut in this story, and I'm sorry to say that I am terrible at it. I wrote this ending with the smut and it was just terrible. If you would like to write a little smutty scene for the ending, knock your socks off. Send it to me and I may just tack it on the end. But I'm terrible at it so sorry. As for all of you wonderful readers, thank you so much. Your reviews and encouraging PM's kept this story going and I thank you from the bottom of my heart._

_Last but not least, a message to all those who have asked for it:_

_CONSIDER THIS LAST CHAPTER A __**PROLOGUE **__TO MY NEXT STORY! Yes, there will be a sequel. I think I'm going to keep the same characters, maybe have Dr. Reed and the Merry Men have more of a substantial role. Anyway, you are all amazing and I cherish each and every review. Thank you all for sticking with me on this emotional ride : ) _


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